Thinking of You
by zephyrocity
Summary: After Sora's death, Kairi comes to terms with her grief by closing her heart off and pushing Riku away. But when Sora is brought back to life, things are not as they seem, and the people of Destiny Islands are sent spiraling into grave danger.
1. prologue

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts.  
**Notes:** Hey, all. It's Crimson Kaoru, back with another Kingdom Hearts fic, this time one that's chaptered! (Yes, I'm perfectly aware that this prologue is ridiculously short. I hope you can forgive me! Other chapters will definitely not be so small.)  
**Thanks to: **_namikun masaki _and _SecretBox_, my two amazingly awesome betas. Like, seriously. You guys are the best! Also, my friend Faith needs a mention—thank you so much, m'dear! You helped me through it from start to finish. Even if you were dead half of the time.

* * *

_Thinking of You_  
· prologue ·

* * *

Kairi knelt silently before the polished gravestone, running her fingertips over the engraved surface. It hadn't been there long enough for the words to fade—though it felt like an eternity to her—and it read, 

_In loving memory of_  
**Sora**  
_Loyal son and friend to many_

"Sora," Kairi whispered, setting herself firmly in the dirt and resting her forehead against the cool stone, her cheeks warm and eyes stinging. There were rain clouds overhead, but Kairi didn't care in the least as she wrapped her arms around the grave marker and said to it, ever so softly, "It's been six months now, Sora. I'm sorry I haven't come to visit you in a while, I…"

She trailed off miserably, tears choking her throat. Swallowing hard, Kairi continued shakily, "Riku's still gone—he left right… right afterward. I don't know where he is. Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka won't shut up about him…" She laughed weakly. "We all miss you, Sora."

She broke off into sobs as rain began to drizzle over her head. Far away, thunder crashed, and she pressed herself to the wet stone, stifling a whimper of fear. "I still hate thunderstorms," she giggled to the grave, tears streaming down her face and mixing with the rain. "That hasn't changed… I remember how I used to cling to you in times like this; I hope you didn't mind. You always told me you liked it, but still—"

Abruptly, Kairi was bathed in shadow, and rain stopped falling on her head. She pulled herself away from the grave and looked, with wide eyes, up at the person standing over her. All she could see was soaking wet silver hair, aquamarine eyes dark with worry, and a mouth twisted into a firm, angry line.

Kairi could do nothing but stare. "R-Riku?" she stammered.

He glared down at her. "I was looking for you everywhere, Kairi!" he barked, voice raw as if he had been screaming. "On the day I return to the island, I find you gone… what am I supposed to think?"

She just couldn't register his presence, and could only whisper, "Riku? Is it really you? You're back?"

"Yes, I'm back," the tall—taller than she remembered; _He's grown,_ she thought with a nostalgic half-smile—young man snapped, and jerked her up roughly, avoiding her gaze. "Now, let's get you out of the rain. Okay, Kairi?"

She stared at him in wonder still, before allowing her arms to slip around his waist. "Yeah," she murmured, cheek pressed firmly against his chest. "Okay."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Hope you liked it! I'll update soon. Reviews are, as always, great encouragement! 


	2. thinking of you

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix does.  
**Warning:** Riku has a bad mouth.

* * *

_thinking of you_  
· I ·

* * *

_It's getting colder, _thought Kairi, curled up on a warm couch before a roaring fireplace with a cup of hot cocoa—courtesy of Riku—in her hands. She was near enough to feel the flames licking at her toes, but this only comforted her as she gazed into the fire dazedly. 

Suddenly, a blanket was draped around her shoulders, and Kairi looked up to see Riku bending over her, a mug in his hands as well. "Thanks, Riku," she whispered as he sat next to her.

"What were you doing?"

She almost sighed. "Isn't it obvious?" the young woman asked tiredly. "I was visiting Sora's grave. I go as often as I can… though I haven't gone for ages."

Riku fidgeted with the cup, not in the mood for a drink. After being away for so long, it was hard to adjust to being in friends' presences again—to being in _Kairi's_ presence again. "Yeah," he answered, voice barely audible.

Kairi snuck a glance at him out of the corner of her eye, her tears long dried with the heat of the flames before her. "You kept your promise."

"Of course I did."

Kairi smiled gently into her cup. Her happiness faded soon, though, and she whispered, "Do you miss him?"

Everything went deathly quiet, and Kairi began to feel that she had said the wrong thing. She opened her mouth to take the words back, but it was too late. Riku's hands were curled into shaking fists in his lap, and his head was bowed; he didn't say anything for a long time. Then, finally—

"Miss him?" Riku repeated, almost disbelievingly. Anger built in him, and suddenly he found himself turning on her, snapping, "Of course I _miss_ him; he was my best friend! He—he saved the fucking world, _twice_, and then the moment he gets back he gets _sick_! What the _hell_? Of all people, it shouldn't have been _Sora_ who died—why couldn't it have been _me_? You—you and Sora would have been fucking _happy _together, so I—"

Her hand on his shoulder stops him, and he turns away, hiding his sorrow behind his long silver fringe.

"Please, don't yell," Kairi whispered, vision blurry with unshed tears. Exhaustion threatened to overwhelm her, and she collapsed against Riku's shoulder, eyes fluttering closed. "I'm sorry. I'm so tired…"

Calmer now, the silver-haired young man wrapped an arm around her shoulder and said, "You must be exhausted… crying is very tiring." He laughed softly and said, "Though I wouldn't know about that, would I, Kairi?" When there was no answer, Riku glanced down, eyebrows raised in confusion, only to find that his dear friend had drifted off to sleep in his arms.

With a sigh of exasperation, Riku absently pushed her hair back off of her forehead and leaned back in his seat, his free arm tugging Kairi close.

* * *

Sunlight wormed its way underneath Kairi's eyelids, and she reluctantly opened her eyes to find herself nestled in Riku's side. She looked around in surprise and found that her friend was fast asleep, his head nodding to his chest. The young woman pulled herself from his grasp so gently that he didn't wake and disappeared into the adjoining room—the kitchen. 

As she looked around the cozy room, Kairi remembered that she never learned to cook. After all, the summer that her adoptive mother—the only mother she had ever known—had promised to teach her was the year that Sora had first discovered the Keyblade. That had deemed all teaching of menial tasks impossible, seeing as Kairi was without a heart for a good period of time. And yet, she followed her foster mother's example and liked to think that cooking was fun—her mum had always deeply enjoyed it.

"Let's go at it," she hummed to herself, reaching for several pots and pans. Surprisingly, she found that Riku had many a household appliance hidden away inside several cupboards, and his small kitchen was fully stocked with all sorts of things—including the only thing that Kairi did know how to make: cereal.

As she grabbed some milk from the refrigerator and reached for a box of nutritious Paopu-Pops, Kairi thought, _This summer, mum's going to teach me how to cook for real._

Kairi, unlike Riku, still lived with her adoptive mother and father—both of which did not know of her spectacular adventures. Her silver-haired friend, on the other hand, had moved away from his family upon his return to Destiny Islands, choosing instead to live in a small cottage on the islet where he, Kairi, and Sora had played as a child. Kairi lived on the main island full-time.

"Up so early, Kairi?" said a voice from the doorway. The redhead whirled around and spotted Riku lounging in the doorframe, running a hand tiredly through mussed ash-grey hair.

She attempted a smile. "Yeah," Kairi replied, distractedly pouring the Paopu-Pops into a bowl. "Want some cereal?"

Riku blinked in confusion. "Cereal?" he repeated, walking over and examining the box. "Oh," he said softly, shaking his head with a fond twist to his lips. "Mum must've come by and restocked. How nice."

Kairi chewed her Paopu-Pops in silence, watching as Riku poured himself a bowl. Eventually, she swallowed, summoned her courage, and whispered, "Thanks for yesterday, Riku."

"Don't mention it," he replied quickly, tossing a mouthful of the dry cereal into his mouth and putting the milk back in the fridge. As an afterthought, he added, "Seriously, though—you would have gotten sick if I hadn't seen you up on the hill and taken you back here."

"I know," she muttered, avoiding his gaze. "I just miss him, is all."

Riku snorted. "Of course you do," he said, and before Kairi could object to his tone, he cut in with, "I do, too—remember?"

Suddenly, their conversation from the night before came back to Kairi, and she flinched, remembering his wounded eyes and angry yelling. "Yeah," she said finally, and they finished their Paopu-Pops in silence.

Moments later, Kairi and Riku walked back into the cottage's living room, and the young woman ventured, "Have you seen Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka yet?"

"Yeah. I saw them right before I came looking for you."

Kairi nodded, looking down at her feet. "I hope you weren't worried."

Riku shrugged. "Well, I asked your parents on the main island, and they told me you were here… but when I asked Wakka and the others, they said that they hadn't seen you. Since it was beginning to rain, I looked for you in the secret place and in the tree house." He laughed humourlessly. "To no avail, of course. But then," his expression darkened, his mouth tightening into a sorrowful line, "I remembered where else you'd be."

Kairi's gaze stuck firmly to her toes. "Yeah," she whispered, and silence hung in the air like a wet blanket. Then, "I'm sorry."

Riku waved her apology away with a shake of his head. "Don't be," he assured her, one hand squeezing her shoulder comfortingly. "I'm just glad I got there before the rain really started coming down."

"Let's go see Selphie," Kairi burst out suddenly, desperate to change the subject, to get her mind off of the figure resting beneath the dirt in front of that gravestone. "Let's…"

"Okay," Riku agreed, taking her hand to lead her out the door, into the sunshine and away from dark thoughts.

* * *

"Hey, Riku, let's play some blitzball!" 

Kairi blinked in the sunlight streaming down from overhead, one hand coming up to shield her eyes. She squinted at Wakka, hefting a blitzball as usual, who was beckoning to Riku impatiently. Tidus and Selphie stood behind the orange-haired young man, the former dragging his wooden sword through the sand, the latter cheerfully skipping rope.

Kairi sat in the warm sand, staring out into the channel between the isles of Destiny Islands. From where she sat, she could see the main island, where she lived and went to school—but it was summer now, and everyone was over at the littlest islet, playing as they had done for a month.

"Hey, Kairi," wheedled Selphie's voice, in that tone where the redheaded young woman just knew that her friend wanted something.

As if she was none the wiser, Kairi looked up at her friend and smiled gently. "Yeah?"

Selphie burrowed her toes into the sand, avoiding Kairi's gaze. "You got any munny?" she asked eventually, and peered up with guilty eyes. "I bet Tidus ten munny—not that I have any—that Wakka couldn't beat me in a duel, but he did."

Kairi sighed. "Yeah, yeah," she said, fishing in her pocket for the coins and tossing them at her friend. "Go to Riku next time."

Selphie grinned, absently brushing chestnut hair out of her big eyes. "Now that he's back," she cheered, "I can mooch off of him all I want!"

With that, the young woman pranced off, and Kairi was left on her own in the sun, watching as Riku challenged Tidus and Wakka to a duel, instead of playing blitzball. (He had always preferred watching the game to playing it.) Of course, the two young men went down in a spectacularly short time—they were nothing compared to the Heartless, to the Nobodies, to Organization XIII, to everything that Sora and Riku had fought so bravely against.

Kairi's stomach hurt.

She stared at the sky, her arms wrapped protectively around her middle as she reminisced on those times. She remembered so clearly the day that Sora had promised to come back to her—how they had been thrown apart as Destiny Islands took shape once more… and how Kairi had forgotten.

_How could I forget?_ she thought, miserably.

"Kairi?"

The voice came like a blade of sunlight through her thoughts, and the young redhead realised that Riku was bending over her, balancing a wooden sword on his shoulder. He looked concerned.

"Kairi, are you all right?"

She forced her mind away from Sora and nodded. "Yeah," she said eventually, and motioned for Riku to sit down beside her. When he did so, she pointed at the weapon in his arms and murmured, "This must be so boring for you, Riku… you could be off traveling the worlds with your Keyblade, but instead you're sparring with a couple of amateurs and wielding a fake sword." When he said nothing, she asked, "Why did you come back to the islands, anyway? There's nothing for you here."

Riku tossed his wooden blade out to sea. It landed with a loud splash on the surface of the shallows, but no one moved to get it, and the platinum-haired young man snapped, "_Nothing for me here_—Kairi, what are you talking about? You're here! _You_ are why I came back—you idiot, I was worried!"

Uncomfortable silence took the reins, and Riku avoided his friend's gaze and stared resolutely at his fake sword, which was drifting slowly out of sight. He made no move to fetch it, however, and Tidus mourned the loss of the weapon.

Eventually, Kairi's voice broke the quiet. "Me?" she whispered. "I'm the only reason you come back? I'm what's tying you to this island? That's it?"

"No, no!" Riku protested quickly, knowing now that he'd said the wrong thing. "That's not what I mean, I—"

"But it's true, isn't it, Riku?"

The silver-haired boy lapsed into silence once more, desperately trying to think of something that would make her feel better. Thirty seconds later, an idea all but struck him across the face, and he whirled around, declaring, "Let's leave."

"Wh-what?" Kairi exclaimed, eyes going wide.

"Come on, Kairi," he urged. "Let's take that raft and go to other worlds, like we had always planned. It's still sitting there, you know, and pretty soon it's gonna get ruined in a summer storm like last night's!"

The redheaded girl's mouth opened and closed, moving over unvoiced disbelief.

A smirk twisted Riku's lips at this, and he pulled her into a standing position. "Come on, let's go. We'll get the raft ready, and stow some provisions, and—"

"It won't be the same without Sora."

Riku froze, turned away, and shut his eyes. "Kairi, I—"

"It won't be the same without Sora," she repeated, an edge to her voice. Tears sparkled in her eyes, and her hands balled into fists as she grabbed onto the back of Riku's shirt and shouted, "I won't go without him! I—I won't…!" She cut herself off with a sob and buried her face in her friend's vest, tears streaming down her face and soaking his clothes. Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka could only watch in silence as Kairi pounded Riku's back and wept, "Why! Why did it have to be this way? Why did Sora—"

Very suddenly, Riku whirled around and took her hands in his. She went quiet when he whispered, "Let's go see him."

Tearfully, she sniffled and nodded. "Yeah," she agreed in a small voice, clutching at his back and trailing closely behind him as he made his way to the small hill on the far side of the island.

Once there, they knelt before the small, lonely gravestone—everyone else was buried on the main island, but Sora's family knew he would have wanted otherwise—and Kairi clasped her hands together in prayer, drying her eyes on her sleeve. Riku quickly followed suit, and both sat there in silence until the hours ran together and the sky grew dark.


	3. wherever you are

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix does.

* * *

_wherever you are_  
· II ·

* * *

The moon shone like a beacon through Riku's window, its ethereal glow lighting up his room and exposing all that shadows had hidden; a picture frame face-down on the floor, the glass cover shattered. Shards littered the carpet, among them the torn pieces of what had been inside the frame—a picture of Riku, Kairi, and Sora. 

Sora had his arms slung around Kairi's shoulders; he was grinning like an idiot. She looked embarrassed, as if she had been pleading to the photographer—Selphie, if Riku remembered correctly—to put the camera away.

Lastly, the silver-haired young man, tallest of the three, was smiling broadly, one hand ruffling Sora's spiky brown hair, the other on Kairi's shoulder.

_When was that taken? _Riku wondered to himself as he lay on his bed, his blanket thrown carelessly to the side. His feet stuck out over the end of the thin mattress, resting on the footboard. _I've grown since I last slept in this bed, _he thought to himself, staring absently at the ripped photo. Riku remembered the day he had torn it to pieces as if it had been yesterday.

It had been the day that they buried Sora—only a couple of months after the two boys' return to Destiny Islands. And everything had started off so well.

* * *

Riku was alone, staring into the setting sun on the little isle that he and Sora so liked to spar on. Seated as usual on the twisted white tree, Riku was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't hear Sora approach until the brunet hefted himself up onto the trunk, and then down onto solid ground again, using the tree as support. 

"Nothing's changed, huh?" Riku said eventually.

Sora smiled at the yellow-red sky. "Nope," he answered, throwing his hands behind his head. "Nothing will."

Riku shook his head and leaned back in his seat. "What a small world," he mused.

"But part of one that's much bigger," his friend said, and Riku murmured a soft, "Yeah," in response. Then, an idea seemed to strike Sora, for he wrinkled his brow and glanced up at his silver-haired friend. "Hey, Riku," he asked, voice full of questions, "what do you think it was—the door to the light?"

Riku laughed gently and hopped down off the tree trunk. Smiling, he prodded Sora in the chest. "This."

Sora frowned, glancing between his friend's face and his heart. "_This_?" he repeated, obviously confused and, apparently, incredulous.

"Yeah," insisted Riku. "It's always closer than you think."

Sora was silent for a moment, his expression blank—and then he realised what his friend meant, and a grin spread over his face. He went to say more, but a cry of, "Sora! Riku!" interrupted him, and the two boys turned to see Kairi running across the wooden bridge that led to the small, circular isle. She held something in her hands, and, by the time she reached them, was out of breath to the point of bending over and wheezing.

"Hey," Sora said, concerned. Reaching out, one tanned hand squeezed Kairi's shoulder. "What's up?"

"Look," the young woman said, finally straightening. She held out what had been clutched to her bosom—a clear glass bottle. Inside was a slip of parchment with a very familiar seal on it.

"From the King?" Sora gasped, and all but snatched it from Kairi's hands. Riku felt a smile spread across his face as he began to read over Sora's shoulder. Kairi followed suit, her expression half-worried, half-hopeful.

_"Dear Sora, Riku, and Kairi," _the letter read, and all three teenagers could hear the mouse's high, squeaky voice in their minds.

_"I hope all has been going well for you. I have returned to Disney Castle—and let's just say Queen Minnie is very happy to see me home—and Donald and Goofy have returned to their usual stations. Daisy is still punishing Donald for being away so long! I'm glad I'm not him."_

Sora grinned. "I had been wondering what had happened to those two," he said, as they had returned home after spending a couple of days with Sora and the others on the island.

_"Obviously, the Heartless are not gone, for as long as there is darkness in people's hearts there will be Heartless. But I have been keeping them at bay, and I want you three to stay home—you need a rest. I will send for you if anything comes up.  
Thanks for everything, and be safe,__  
Mickey."_

Sora was laughing as he rolled up the letter and stuck it in his pocket. "I'm a bit disappointed," he admitted, ruffling the back of his gravity-defying hair in obvious embarrassment. "I thought we were being sent on another adventure."

"Hmph!" snorted Kairi. "Even if you were, you'd take me with you this time!"

"Yeah, yeah," chuckled Sora, clapping Kairi gently on the back. "Whatever you say, Kairi." She cried out in offended protest at this and raised her fists. Sora shielded his head from her sudden rain of blows, although he was grinning widely. "Sorry, sorry!" he cried, looking to Riku for help. "C'mon, Riku! Help m—"

His laughter was very suddenly cut short, and Sora dropped to one knee, overwhelmed by a sudden coughing attack. Wracked with pain, he collapsed fully upon the ground, leaving a stunned Riku and Kairi to drop next to him, panicking and calling his name.

"Sora!" Kairi whimpered, rubbing his back. "I'm sorry! I won't hit you again!"

Riku shook his head. "I'm pretty sure it wasn't your blows that brought him to this," he teased, and then clapped Sora on the shoulder. "Don't die on us," he joked, and Sora eventually calmed and managed to look up, forcing a smile to his face.

"Yeah, yeah," the brunet coughed, and stood up again, rubbing his raw throat. "Ow. That really hurt!" He laughed a little, and hid the pain it caused him.

Comforted by his nonchalance, Riku and Kairi brushed this horrible fit off as a one-time thing, and the trio returned to the main island for dinner. When time came for Kairi to be dropped off at home, it was like the attack had never happened. The three friends promised to meet again at the smallest islet of Destiny Islands the next morning, as they always did, and split up for the night.

--

But, when it did happen again, and Sora was reduced to a weak, crumpled heap on the floor, exhausted from coughing, Riku and Kairi insisted on bringing him to the main island's doctor.

Unfortunately, Sora hated the doctor.

"Come on, Sora!" whined Kairi, tugging at the brunet's arm. "It's for your own good! They won't do anything to you!"

He struggled against her hold. Riku watched from nearby, caught between helping Kairi and going to the doctor, and aiding Sora's getaway. The physician, after all, might declare him terminally ill—wouldn't it be better for everyone if Sora just didn't know what was wrong? They could continue insisting that he was fine, and never own up to the fact that the young man was getting sicker and sicker. His skin was growing pasty, his wiry body slighter than it should be—even Riku, who so badly didn't _want _to, saw that.

"No, Kairi! I'm not going to the doctor!" Sora howled, breaking free of her hold with one smooth jerk. His wrists had grown thin, and he stumbled back against Riku as another fit overtook him. "I'm not"—_cough_—"going to the"—_cough, cough_—"doctor! I don't care what you say. He might give me a shot, or something, and Kairi—I hate shots!"

"You're such a baby!" exclaimed the redheaded girl, eyes imploring Riku, with firm, strong hands on Sora's bony shoulders, for help.

The silver-haired young man sighed and tightened his grip on Sora. The boy whirled around in surprise, eyes going wide. "Riku—?" he asked, confused.

"Sorry, Sora," Riku said heavily. "But you need to go to the doctor, whether you like it or not."

Something that his friends couldn't identify flashed in Sora's eyes, as if he didn't want to go to the hospital for fear of his diagnosis, just like Riku. "No," he snapped, uncharacteristically angry—a rage born out of worry. "I'm not going."

But he did. Riku whacked him firmly over the head with the blunt side of Tidus' spare wooden sword—an act which, later, Sora's mother (away on business at the time) berated him for—and dragged the stunned young man to the doctor's.

--

"Why, hello, Sora, Riku, Kairi." The attendant smiled kindly at them from behind her desk. Destiny Islands only had one little hospital, but it was enough. "What can I help you with today?" The young nurse distractedly brushed a stray hair behind her ear with one hand, the other clutching a clipboard overflowing with papers. She wore a short white dress, the same colour as the walls, and everything else around her.

Kairi forced a smile and pointed at Sora. "We don't have an appointment," she said, "but Sora needs to see a doctor."

The nurse raised an eyebrow. "Can't Sora and his parents figure this out themselves?"

"They're away," Riku cut in, hands still holding Sora's shoulders in a firm grip. "So we thought we'd take it upon ourselves and force him to the hospital."

The attendant shook her head. "Well, okay… I'll see if anyone's free." Concerned, she peered at the brunet over horn-rimmed spectacles and frowned. "You do look a little thin, Sora. I'll be right back."

She vanished into an adjoining hallway, and the trio sat down in the waiting room, next to a bloodshot young man and a fretting girlfriend. Sora still didn't look pleased, but as Riku could see he wasn't about to run off, the silver-haired boy released his friend and sat back in his seat. "Everything's fine," Riku said, taking the role of a loving parent. "It's just a checkup."

Sora shrugged. "Yeah," he said, and hid a cough behind his hand. "I guess."

The attendant popped back in then, calling out, "Sora—the doctor will see you now."

Reluctantly, the brunet stood and made for the doorway. When Riku and Kairi didn't follow, he glanced back in confusion, only to see his redheaded friend offer him a thumbs-up. "We'll wait out here," she said cheerfully. "This won't take long."

"Yeah," Sora said automatically, and disappeared into the corridor. The nurse led him into the first room on his right, which housed a large, padded seat, a three-legged stool, and a little desk. Sora reluctantly sat down on the big chair and sulked even as the young woman told him, "The doctor will be right in."

She was true to her word, and a physician soon entered, carrying a clipboard similar to the one his assistant had been holding. He was a tall man, with long black hair and small, darting eyes. But, despite his stern outward appearance, the doctor's smile was warm and true when he sat down on the stool and said gaily, "Well, hello there, Sora. What's up?"

"Nothing," grumbled Sora. This was the physician that had always treated him, so the older man didn't look at all affected by Sora's surliness. Instead, he turned to his desk and shuffled through some papers.

"So, how is your mum?" he said conversationally.

"Out of town," replied Sora, fidgeting with the buttons on his pants as he waited for the doctor to begin. "Riku and Kairi dragged me here."

The doctor looked concerned as he turned back to his patient. "Oh?" he said. "What for? Are you sick?"

Sora nodded vaguely. "I guess," he said. "I think Riku and Kairi are just overreacting, though—it's nothing." The physician cocked his head to the side and asked what the symptoms were, and the brunet reluctantly admitted, "Well, I have a horrible—"

Very suddenly, the young man broke off into a fit of coughing, hunched over on the chair, arms cinched around his aching stomach. His hands flew to his throat, desperately trying to muffle the awful sound.

When Sora quieted down, the doctor said, "Let me guess—you have a terrible cough."

The patient offered a wry grin. "Yeah," he said. "How'd you know?"

The physician shook his head and stood up, motioning for Sora to do the same. "Well," he said, ushering the surprised boy out the door, "I'd just say to get a lot of rest—stay indoors for a while, say—and you should be better in no time."

Sora looked up in shocked glee. "That's it?" he said, a little incredulous. "You're not going to give me a shot?"

The doctor laughed and waved Sora goodbye. Relieved, the young man returned the gesture and waltzed back into the waiting room. At the sight of him, Riku and Kairi shot up, their expressions betraying their worry. Sora hid his grin.

"Well?" both demanded. "What's the story?"

Sora covered his forehead with his hand dramatically and bent over a little, as if he was upset. "Oh," he said in a choked-up voice, and averted his gaze to the floor. "Oh, Riku, Kairi… I… I…"

All of a sudden, Kairi's little arms encircled his waist, and Riku was right beside him. The redheaded girl buried her head in Sora's chest and cried, "What's wrong, Sora?" She sounded close to tears, and the brunet felt a little bad.

Still, he gave no sign of this, and flashed a grin at his two friends. "I'm _fine, _guys!"

Riku and Kairi froze, shock evident on their features. Sora laughed in their faces, figuring that they would be too relieved to punish him for such a cruel little trick. Unfortunately for him, that idea was wrong.

"_So_ra!" bellowed Kairi, socking her friend hard. "You had me so worried—ugh! Don't _ever_ do that again!"

Riku said nothing, but he hit _way_ harder than his female companion.

By the time Sora left the clinic with his two friends, he had some bruises that could've done with being looked at. Everyone—the foolish brunet included—was too relieved to really care, the doctor and Sora's own words running like a mantra through their heads.

_I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine…_

That couldn't have been more wrong.


	4. we pray for our sorrows to end

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix does.

* * *

_we pray for our sorrows to end_  
· III ·

* * *

Today was the day Sora's mother returned home from her business trip on the farthest isle of Destiny Islands. Sora was surprisingly glad to see her home—his coughing was getting worse, but then he hadn't exactly been following the doctor's orders—and Riku and Kairi watched as the brunet boy flew into his mum's arms, stifling the urge to cough. 

But Sora's mother was a perceptive woman.

"Sora," she said, pulling back from her son and dragging her bags inside their house. "Is something wrong?"

"No," he coughed.

His mother frowned. "Do you have a cold?" she asked, putting down her luggage and checking her son's temperature with a gentle hand against his forehead. "In this weather? Surely not."

In response, the young man stared at his shoes and said nothing. Finally, Kairi was the one who had to interject, explaining, "He has a bad cough."

Sora's mum turned her attention on the redheaded girl with a smile, as if just noticing her presence. "Well, hello there, Kairi," she said sweetly, and nodded at Riku as well. "How are you two?"

"Fine," replied the two young adults at the same time.

Sora's mother smiled at them and then turned back to her son expectantly, one eyebrow raised. He wilted under her scrutiny immediately. "Um, mum…" he began, scuffing his big shoes in the dirt. "Like they said, I do have a cough. But that's all. Nothing's wrong."

His mother put her hands on her hips. "Did you go to the doctor?" she asked, and Sora nodded. "And he said you're fine?" Another nod. She relaxed visibly, and vanished inside the living room of the house she shared with her son—her husband had died years before. "All right, Sora. Just be careful—bundle up," she called out, despite the fact that the residents of Destiny Islands would have sworn that it was ninety degrees outside.

Sora nodded, even though she couldn't see him. "All right, mum," he replied. "I'm going out with Riku and Kairi. I'll be back later!"

"Come back before sundown!" she said, but the three were already gone.

--

All throughout the next week, Sora's cough seemed to lessen, and he brightened a bit, the colour returning to his cheeks. He, Riku, and Kairi couldn't have been happier—school was still months away, and sickness no longer hung over the summertime like a shroud.

Sora resumed playing blitzball with Wakka as he had always done in the warmer months, leaving Riku to watch (occasionally kicking Tidus' ass for a work-out) and Kairi to chatter with Selphie. The three friends spent as much time as they could with each other, and often discussed their adventures.

"We should go back to Hollow Bastion—err, I mean, the Radiant Garden!" exclaimed Sora that Saturday. "I promised Leon we'd come back. Aerith and Yuffie said they'd prepare a big banquet for us!"

"Yeah," agreed Riku quietly. "We should get in touch with Mickey, and Donald and Goofy. They can bring their Gummi Ship here, and we can travel with them. After all, I'm sure they want to see their friends as much as you do. Right, Sora?"

The brunet flashed him a grin, and Kairi giggled.

"I hope life isn't too boring for you guys," she said. "You've been on such fantastic adventures… doesn't living here, doing nothing, get tiring?"

Sora shook his head. "No way, Kairi," he exclaimed vehemently, even though, sometimes, he wished he were off with Donald and Goofy, fighting Heartless once more. He didn't breathe a word of this to his friend, however, and just beamed reassuringly. "I wouldn't leave you, never in a million years."

Kairi smiled shyly. "Promise?" she said, extending her pinky.

Sora wrapped his finger firmly around hers, a slight blush rising on his cheeks. "I promise," he swore, and Kairi nodded happily and stood up, small feet sinking into the grainy yellow sand.

"That's good," she said softly, and backed up towards where Selphie waited by the seaside shack, waving to Riku and Sora, who still sat cross-legged on the beach. "I said that I'd hang out with Selphie today. See you later!"

"Yeah, see you later," Sora echoed, bidding his friend goodbye with a raised hand. Shaking his head fondly, he turned back to Riku, who was busy staring at the sea. "Hey, Riku," the brunet said, finally catching his silver-haired friend's attention. "Wakka still doesn't want to admit I'm better at blitzball than him. I'm gonna go prove it, once and for all!" Grinning, he shot to his feet, stumbled—taking care to muffle a cough—and dashed off into the sunlight.

As he watched his friend go, sudden fear gripped Riku's heart, and one thought crossed his mind.

Sora may not be able to keep his promise… 

--

Sora pretended to be feeling better. He hid his cough from his worried mother, from Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka—he even tried to hide it from Riku and Kairi.

But he was getting thin again. The health he had regained slipped away and, as summer hit the halfway mark, Sora took to his bed. Riku and Kairi visited him as often as they could, and it was during a time like that that Sora said, "Guys, it's like the doctor said. If I stay in bed, I'll be better in no time."

Kairi smiled at him. "Yeah. You're right," she agreed, nodding enthusiastically. Riku wasn't sure who she was trying to convince—Sora, or herself.

The sickly young man grinned up at his friend from his position under the covers. "I only got sick again," he insisted, "because I didn't listen. I should have done what the doctor asked the first time around, I guess." His smirk was sheepish and comforting, but Riku wasn't sure.

"Sora," he said carefully, tugging Kairi's elbow to usher her away, "we'd better get going. You stay in bed… rest up. Feel better, okay?"

The brunet's smile faltered. "Yeah," he said, sounding a little uncertain. "Yeah, okay." He waved his friends away, the expression frozen on his pale cheeks, strained. "I'll see you guys later."

Riku nodded and, with a forced grin, pushed Kairi from the room, leaving Sora to his own thoughts.

As soon as they were out of earshot, the redhead rounded on him, hands on her hips and eyes narrowed. One finger jabbed at his chest accusingly. "Riku!" she shrilled, angry. "Why'd we rush out of there like that? There's no reason to make Sora feel like he's _dying_!"

_Dying…_

_Dying, dying, like he's dying—_the phrase echoed insistently through Riku's head. The finality of that small word almost caused the young man to stumble. He caught himself just in time, however, and turned away from Kairi, staring at his shoes as if they held the secrets of life.

"Riku?" exclaimed his friend exasperatedly. "I was _joking_. Don't be dumb. Sora's not dying!"

"Y-yeah," managed the silver-haired boy eventually, whirling back around. He shook his head, ashamed of himself. "You're right. Sorry."

Kairi smiled. "Don't apologise," she scolded him mercilessly, wrapping her small arms around his waist. She hugged him close, as if feeling bad for her words. "I'm sorry, too," she said finally. "I shouldn't have said that. It was a bad idea to even put it in our _heads_. Right, Riku? There's no way that Sora's gonna die." A smile surfaced on her face. "That's not even possible. I am right, aren't I?"

Riku didn't answer.

--

Before the occupants of Destiny Islands knew it, school had started again.

Kairi and Riku's free time was cut to near nothing, but Sora still remained tied to his bed. His friends tried to see him often as they could—the weak, pale little shell that he was, sleeping more than was healthy and coughing horribly when he was awake—but when Kairi visited and Sora was barely conscious enough to recognise her, even she started to catch on.

She approached Riku one Friday afternoon, chasing away the girls that fluttered around him with her mere presence. Enthralled in the game of blitzball unfolding before him, he barely looked up when she sat down beside him.

"Riku?" Kairi finally ventured after a minute of silence, stealing a glance at him out of the corner of her eye.

The silver-haired teenager returned her gaze, his hands knotted in his lap, brow drawn. The blitzball game had been totally forgotten at the sight of her frightened violet eyes. "Yes?" he replied.

"It's Sora."

Riku stumbled into a standing position, hands curling into fists so tight his knuckles turned white. "What happened?" he asked, worry straining his tone. "Where's Sora? What—"

"Riku," Kairi interrupted quickly, "nothing. It's nothing."

The boy let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and sat down again. "God, Kairi," he mumbled into his lap, hiding stinging eyes behind his hand, "don't scare me like that. I really thought that Sora…"

"Don't say that!"

Her voice, shrill and terrified, cut in before he could go on. Riku stopped mid-word and turned towards her, aquamarine eyes wide. Kairi's hands were clutched over her heart, and she was shaking all over, whipping her head from side to side and murmuring things that were not meant for his ears.

"Kairi," he said gently, enveloping her in his arms without any hesitation, "I…"

"He's _fine_," she choked out, her vision blurring with unshed tears. "He'll get better." Small hands grabbed at his shirt. "You'll see, Riku, he… he will…"

Riku shut his eyes and took a deep breath, gathering enough courage for the both of them. "He's not doing so well, is he, Kairi?" he asked softly. In response came a muffled sob, and the redhead shook her head into his neck.

"No," she cried, and her fists beat at his chest angrily. "No, he's not. This is so _unfair_. I don't understand, Riku, really I don't!"

Riku sighed. "I don't understand either," he whispered into her hair. Eventually, her sniffles quieted and the platinum-haired young man pulled away and smiled as she furiously wiped away her tears. "Want to go see him?" he asked, and she rubbed at her flushed cheeks and swollen eyes, nodding.

They both knew that this time would be the last.

--

"Sora?" said Kairi gently, leaning over her sleeping friend and stroking dark hair off of his forehead. The boy stirred and his eyes fluttered open, focusing lazily on the two people standing before him.

"Kairi?" he croaked, sitting up in bed and grappling for a glass of water on a nearby table. He drowned its contents and turned to his friends with his typical smile. His pale cheeks were flushed with fever, and his hair was tangled and limp. "I'm so tired," he yawned. "When was the last time you guys came to visit me? Yesterday?"

Riku's sharp intake of breath was the only sound in the room for one long minute before Kairi whispered, "A week ago, Sora. School is keeping us busy."

The brunet blinked in confusion. "A week?" he asked doubtfully. "Has it really been that long?"

"Yeah," cut in Riku, placing himself on the bed next to his ill friend. "You've been sleeping a lot, Sora." The young man managed a smile. "Had any… any interesting dreams?"

"I think so," Sora mused. "Yeah. I had some dreams… about when I was traveling with Donald and Goofy. I relived that last battle with Xemnas…" He offered Riku a smile. "Our talk afterward, and finding the light to get back home again." He turned to his redheaded friend and squeezed her hand. "I dreamt about seeing you again, Kairi, for the first time in so long."

Riku and Kairi exchanged a glance and nodded. They had talked about this beforehand, and in their heart of hearts they knew it wouldn't do any harm.

"Sora," the young woman asked suddenly, encasing Sora's small hand in her own, "do you want to go out with us? You know—walk around town, see Wakka and the rest… doesn't that sound fun?"Sora beamed. "Yeah!" he agreed, and all but threw himself out of bed. Afterward, he regretted it, clutching his forehead and groaning as all the blood rushed to his head. Then he paused, and glanced around nervously. "What about my mum?" he said. "I don't think she wants me to go out."

Riku shrugged. "She's not home," he said, and Sora grinned.

"All right," he exclaimed, throwing on a sweater to keep warm in the autumn air. "Just like old times. Let's do it, guys!"

Riku and Kairi didn't hold back. They brought Sora all around Destiny Islands, from exploring the main island and hanging out with friends, to visiting the farthest islet that they hadn't been to in years. Mostly, however, they sat in the sun on the beach of the littlest isle where the trio had spent their summers, and talked.

Evening came quicker than the trio would have liked—they figured Sora's mother was panicking herself sick, but made no move to return him home. Riku and Kairi knew deep down that they would not get to spend more time with him; they knew that from the moment they took Sora outside in the open air and he fell to his knees, coughing so hard that he couldn't breathe.

The three lay in the sand, hands entwined, with Sora in the middle and Riku and Kairi flanking him on either side. Their eyes were closed, enjoying the orange glow of the setting sun from beneath their eyelids. Surrounded by his two friends—Riku, tall and strong, not to mention Kairi, petite, lithe and beautiful—Sora looked small and frail in the afternoon's fading light, a pale, bony skeleton with pasty skin just hanging off of his frame. There was a smile on his face, however, that hadn't been seen for quite a while.

"Riku," he whispered into the sunset, "Kairi." His two companions mumbled in response and he smiled at the sky, his heart aching dully in his chest. "I'm really glad you brought me out here today. I can't remember the last time I was here."

The silver-haired young man beside him turned away and buried his face into the sand to hide his sorrow. "Yeah," he murmured, voice muffled.

Kairi, eyes stinging, pulled away from Sora and stood shakily, forcing away brimming tears and bringing a smile to her face. "I'll go get us some ice cream," she choked out, and spun away without another word. She couldn't stand to watch this any longer.

"Sea-salt, please," Sora called back automatically, and then paused, chuckling. "Do we have that flavour here?" He sat up and stared into the sea. "Or is that only," his laughter slowed and died, "in Twilight Town?"

Riku said nothing, sitting up as well, wrapping his arms around his knees.

Sora's smile faded. "Riku," he said seriously, as if he had been uncomfortable saying this in front of Kairi, "I'm dying."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Hey, guys. I'm off to a camp for about two weeks, so you won't hear from me for a while… but don't let that stop you from reviewing!  



	5. and hope that our hearts will blend

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix does.

* * *

_and hope that our hearts will blend_  
· IV ·

* * *

Silence hung in the air like a shroud for one long moment. Nothing broke the quiet but the waves crashing against the shore, and quick footsteps in the sand, approaching from behind. It was Kairi, returning with the ice cream, but the boys didn't hear her coming. She saw that they were talking seriously and ducked behind a bush to listen, dropping the treats in the sand. Kairi watched, biting her lip hard enough to make it bleed, as Riku jerked back in shock; he hadn't expected Sora to just come out and say such a thing. 

Eventually, however, Riku nodded. "Yeah," he whispered.

Sora let out a halfhearted chuckle. "It's kind of ironic, actually," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I never thought I'd live to see the end of my adventures and _then_ die."

"Shut up."

Sora paused, mouth falling open in disbelief. His eyes flitted back and forth, from Riku to the sand at his feet, hesitant to say anything more. "I'm sorry," he said finally, letting out a deep sigh and resting his chin on his raised knees tiredly.

Riku turned away. "Don't say things like that so easily!" he snapped.

"I'm sorry," Sora repeated guiltily, swallowing hard and swaying slightly in the breeze. He reached out and, without a thought, turned Riku around to face him, another apology at the ready. At the sight of his friend's face, however, the words Sora had so carefully prepared died in his throat, and the only thing he could manage was a strangled, "Riku?"

Tears slipped soundlessly down the silver-haired young man's face. Riku was wiping at them furiously, rubbing his cheeks until they were an angry red. "Damn it," he hissed, pawing at his face as if unwilling to believe that he was actually _crying_. "Sora, I—"

The brunet merely smiled, chuckling softly. "It's okay," he breathed. "You can cry."

Behind them, just as the sun dipped below the horizon and all light began to fade, Kairi shot up from her hiding place in the bushes and spun away with a gasping sob. Sora and Riku whirled around with wide eyes just in time to see her dash off, stumbling in the new darkness and weeping into her hands.

"Kairi!" both the boys shouted, standing. When Riku made to go after her, however, Sora placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled up at his friend.

"I'll go," he said softly. Riku nodded, collapsing back in the sand and watching as Sora vanished into the darkness after Kairi.

--

"K… Kairi?"

The redhead flinched at the sound of Sora's voice, hugging her knees to her chest and staring firmly out at the ocean. She refused to look in his direction, instead keeping her back to him as she huddled on the dock.

Sora approached silently, and there was only the rustle of cloth to indicate his arrival as he sat down beside her. "Kairi?" he repeated, slinging one arm around her shoulders and tugging her a bit closer. She stiffened at the contact and looked firmly away. "Kairi, come on… what's the—"

The young woman pushed him away, nearly sending him tumbling into the calm waters below. "No," she whispered. "No, go away."

Sora sighed and half-complied, moving so that they were back to back and she didn't have to worry about looking at his face. "Kairi," he said softly, "you know, it hurts me more than anything else that you won't look at me."

There was first silence, followed by a muffled sob as Kairi whirled around and buried her face in Sora's stomach, close to curling up in his lap. "I'm sorry," she breathed, inhaling in his familiar, gentle scent and hugging him closer. "I'm so sorry, Sora. I…"

"Why are you apologising?" came her friend's soothing voice as he gently stroked her hair. "You haven't done anything wrong." Kairi said nothing, and Sora sighed and raised his eyes to the sky, watching the stars come out, one by one. "Come on, you're missing it," he said out of the blue. Confused, the redhead in his lap didn't move, and Sora clarified, "The sky's so clear tonight."

Kairi pulled back and looked up, leaning against the brunet and wiping away the remnants of tears. "It's beautiful," she breathed, watching as the night lit up before her eyes.

When one winked out of existence, Sora murmured, "You heard Riku and I talking, didn't you, Kairi?"

"Yes," she replied after a long moment of silence, her voice breaking. The young woman hugged herself and buried her face in Sora's shoulder with a shuddering sigh. "It can't be true, Sora… you're not…"

"Dying?" he interrupted. She cringed. "I think you know the truth."

"I think Riku knew from the beginning," Kairi whispered after a long pause. She didn't see a smile twist Sora's lips, barely hearing his muttered, "Did he?"

The spiky-haired brunet shook his head sadly, eyes cloudy as he thought of things to come. Silence reigned once more, at least until Sora pulled away and began softly, "Kairi, before this night is over, I…" When he trailed off, there was a question in her eyes and, with a smile, Sora gently wiped away a tear's path on her cheeks.

"Sora," she began, bewildered. "What is it? I—" Suddenly, her words vanished into a stutter of shock as he ran his thumb gently over her lower lip. The young woman stiffened, taking care _not_ to notice the way Sora's eyes flitted from her eyes to her mouth, and then back again.

"Kairi," he breathed, leaning in close. "Kairi, I…" He paused. "I'm d—"

Before the young man could go on, small hands fisted in Sora's shirt, pulling him close. "I love you!" whispered Kairi agitatedly, and his smiling mouth closed over hers before she could say anything more.

--

Soon after, Sora and Kairi met up with Riku once more; he was still sitting in the darkness of the beach, staring out at the oily black sea. When they arrived, he didn't ask what had happened; instead, the young man quickly rose to his feet and softly suggested that they return Sora home before his mother called the police.

Reluctantly, the other two agreed, knowing that, his mum aside, it was time for a boy as sick as Sora was to get some rest. This is how the trio wound up returning to the main island to discover that, though lights were on in Sora's house, it was empty; it turned out his mother had been out all day.

Sora fished a key from his pocket and unlocked the door with a long sigh. "Do you guys want to come in for a little while?" he asked, suddenly hesitant.

Kairi went to say yes, but Riku put a hand on her shoulder and answered instead, "No, I think it would be better for us to go home." _It's for the best,_ Riku wanted to say. _You want to be alone, don't you?_

Sora's grip on the doorknob tightened and then went slack as the brunet opened the door without a word. _Thank you, _this silence seemed to say. "Yeah, you're right," he said suddenly, turning around with a grin plastered on his face.

Kairi fidgeted with the frayed edges of her tank top, caught between asking Riku why they couldn't spend a little more time with Sora and admitting that she half-understood. Eventually, however, she threw away her uneasiness, dashed forward, and bestowed a chaste kiss upon Sora's cheek, whispering, "I'll… I'll see you tomorrow, Sora. Right?"

He smiled at her warmly, rubbing his reddening face. "Yeah," he agreed, flashing Riku a grin too. Inside that grin was a message, clear as day—_You take care of her this time_.

Riku half-smiled halfheartedly back. _Don't go sappy on me, idiot. Of course I will._

_I know, _Sora's eyes seemed to say, even as the young man exclaimed for Kairi's sake, "Tomorrow. Bright and early, right, guys?"

The silver-haired boy nodded. "Yeah," he croaked, throat suddenly dry and eyes stinging. "T… tomorrow."

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't say anything more. Even as Sora waved goodnight, Riku couldn't seem to form something as simple as the one word that he had been avoiding all along—

_Goodbye._

--

The following morning, Riku awoke to a phone ringing insistently in his ear. Resisting the temptation to throw the covers over his head and forget about it, the young man grappled for the stand on his bedside table and dragged the receiver to his ear.

"Hello?" he said groggily.

On the other end, there was a shuddering gasp and then silence. Finally, someone whimpered, "I-is this R-Riku?"

It was Sora's mother. Bitter cold began to crystallize in Riku's heart as he shot up in bed, raking distracted fingers through his hair and praying, _praying_… "Yeah, this is Riku."

The woman's breath hitched. "R-Riku," she whispered. "I-it's Sora…"

He stopped breathing. _No._

"T-this morning," Sora's mother began, her breath coming in short, stuttering gasps, "I—I went to go see if he was up… and… a-and…" She broke off into muffled sobs, not needing to say anything more. "R-Riku… you're the first… the first one I called… I-I thought Sora was closest to you." There was no answer on the other end, and after a moment she ventured shakily, "R… Riku?"

But the young man had already dropped the phone and was out of bed, stumbling into the kitchen with his hands over his face. He took several deep breaths, one hand coming down to latch onto the marble counter with white-knuckled intensity. "No," he muttered, crumpling to his knees. "_No_."

Riku didn't know how long he sat there like that, legs pulled up to his chest, head hanging low. He forgot about Sora's mother, about Kairi, about _everything_ except Sora. "Damn it," he growled, wiping at streaming eyes, "I didn't even fucking say _goodbye_!"

Eventually, he wandered back into his bedroom and picked up the abandoned phone. Sora's mum had long since hung up and, as if in a trance, Riku began to dial Kairi's number. It rang once, twice, three times…

"Hello?"

Her mother. Riku struggled to keep his voice steady as he asked softly, "Can I speak to Kairi?"

"Riku?" said the woman on the other end cheerfully. "I haven't talked to you in such a long time. Anyway—Kairi's in her room, I'll tell her. Hold on."

"Thank you," he replied automatically, and heard a distant call of, 'Kairi! Phone's for you!' There was complete silence for a moment, and then she picked up, sweet voice singing, "Hello? This is Kairi."

Riku made sure that her mother was gone before he muttered, "It's Riku."

The young man could almost sense Kairi's surprise through the receiver. He rarely used the phone, so she knew immediately that something was up. "Riku," Kairi repeated uncertainly. "I—I mean, is it—"

"It's Sora, Kairi."

There was a strangled gasp on the other end and the phone hit the floor. The young man heard Kairi collapse to her knees, heard her muffled sobs.

Riku hung up.

--

The value of a person is said to be determined by the number of people crying when they die. At the Sora's funeral, many people gathered and cried. Riku, however, was not seen in the funeral procession.

He was not there to comfort Kairi in her grief.

No, the young man was hidden away in his house, hurriedly throwing clothing into a bag. _I'm sorry,_ he thought as he stuffed his most important belongings away. _I have to leave. I can't stay here._

Once he was finished, Riku threw the bag over his shoulder and, in his haste to leave, knocked a photo off of his desk. Pausing, he turned back to pick it up and saw that it was a picture of him, Sora, and Kairi, taken the summer before Sora had discovered the Keyblade. The contentment on their faces made Riku's stomach twist, and he glared at the photo hatefully. He ripped it from its frame, tearing it viciously to pieces and scattering them onto the floor.

Riku couldn't look at such happiness. Not now.

Quickly, he stole away from his house out a back door and made for the beach. On a hill on the other side of the island, Sora's funeral was coming to an end, and people were slowly making their way back to their homes. This is how Kairi found Riku, too busy tossing his pack into a small boat and preparing to push it out to sea to notice her arrival.

She stood there in silence, tears building in her eyes all over again as she watched Riku heave himself into the ship. Just as he was about to leave—_would he be gone_ _forever?_—she whispered, "Don't go."

Riku whirled around, eyes wide and unguarded. She caught the pain that would usually have been hidden in those aquamarine depths, and took a step forwards. "Don't go, Riku," Kairi begged in a small voice, reaching for his sleeve.

He shrugged her away. "I _have_ to," the boy bit out, avoiding her teary violet gaze. "I—I'm sorry, Kairi."

"Where are you going to _go_?"

"I don't know," he admitted, one hand wrapped tightly around the mast of his small vessel. "I just can't stay here any more. I'll sail until I find _somewhere_, Kairi. I'll explore new worlds, I'll…"

The young woman took a shuddering breath and let her hand drop. "Promise me," she whispered, falling to her knees. "Promise me you'll come back, Riku."

_I can't,_ he wanted to say. Regardless, Riku reached out to her and stroked soft hair out of her eyes. She leaned unconsciously into his touch, letting out a shaky sigh as he brushed a tear's tracks from her cheek. "I promise," he whispered, wondering if he was lying, if he would ever come back.

She smiled weakly and took his hand in hers, pressing a soft kiss to the palm before releasing him and stepping back. "Goodbye, Riku," she murmured.

"Farewell, Kairi," he said, softly. With one last sad smile, Riku sailed into the sunlight and was soon just a brown and white blot on a blue, blue horizon. Moments later he was lost to her, and Kairi fell back into the sand and cried.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Back from camp with an especially sad chapter! Hope you enjoyed. We return to the present next time.  



	6. I will step forward to realise this wish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix does.

* * *

_now I will step forward to realise this wish_  
· V ·

* * *

Very slowly, Riku returned to the present and remembered that several months had passed since Sora's death, and the silver-haired boy was back on Destiny Islands just like he promised. He let out a soft groan and turned away from the torn photo on the floor of his room, burying his face into his pillow. 

Riku sighed softly as he thought back on what had happened between Kairi and Sora—he could only guess, as the young woman had told him nothing—and about how angry Tidus, Selphie, and Wakka had been when he left. Kairi _had_ told him about that.

The young man rolled over, his arms cradled securely around his head, and dragged himself out of bed and into the kitchen.

_It seems like yesterday,_ he mused, still able to hear Sora's mother's broken voice on the phone as she told him what had happened. Riku's brow furrowed, and he made for the sink, his stride stiff. With a sigh, he dunked his head under the tap and shut his eyes, enjoying the feeling of the cool water cascading over his dripping head. Remembering wasn't doing him any good, and the flowing water hid angry tears. _Hell, it hurts. _

Then, as if filled with new purpose, he turned off the tap and shook himself dry like a wet dog. As if in a trance, Riku shoved on a pair of old, worn shoes and left his house, making for the one-person cemetery atop the hill with no falter in his step.

Once there, he knelt in front of Sora's little grey gravestone, glaring at it fiercely. Then his head bowed, and his shaking hands curled into angry fists. "What have you done, Sora?" Riku snarled, head snapping up, eyes glittering. "You're so _stupid_!"

Of course, there was nothing but silence in response, and Riku punched at the weary stone halfheartedly. "You… how _could_ you?" he demanded. "You fucking selfish bastard! How could do this to your mum, your friends, _me—_you left _Kairi _behind! Tell me, Sora, who does she have to comfort her now that you're gone? Certainly not me, who left on a journey of his own the day you fucking died. She probably _hates _me for it, and she has every right—"

_That's what it all comes down to, isn't it? _said a voice in the back of Riku's mind. Kairi, who had offered her heart only to have it be almost immediately broken. Kairi, who even now was ascending the hill with astonished violet eyes, stunned by her friend's anger.

"Riku!"

The silver-haired young man whirled towards her, his own eyes going wide at the sight. "Kairi," he said, all defenses down. "I…"

"What… what are you doing?" she whispered, stumbling over to him, eyes flitting from the hand on Sora's gravestone to Riku's unguarded gaze. She had heard every word, and now her shoulders shook, and Kairi collapsed to her knees. Her heart, raw and broken since the day Sora died, spilled out onto the ground, brittle pieces breaking easily.

Panicked arms immediately took her and pressed her against Riku's chest. "Kairi," he tried again, "I—"

"I never knew you felt that way," she whispered shakily, one hand fisting in his shirt. She leaned into him, and when he felt wetness against his neck he knew that she was crying. "I… I never knew…"

Riku held her close and swallowed a lump in his throat.

"I _don't_ hate you, Riku—how could you ever think that?" Kairi's broken voice whispered. "You came back, just like you promised… that's what matters."

"But I still _left_," he argued softly. "I left when you needed me most…" The platinum-haired boy let out the ghost of a dry chuckle and shook his head. "Maybe… maybe it would be better if I just left again."

_"No!"_

The urgency in her voice shocked him, and Riku gazed down at her with wide aquamarine eyes. She glared at him, hands finding his collar and jerking his head down towards hers until they were nose-to-nose. "Don't you_ dare_," Kairi hissed. "Don't you _ever _leave me again, Riku." Her eyes flashed. "And if you go anywhere, I'm going _with_ you."

His smiling face caught Kairi by surprise, and she found a grin spreading over her own as she said, "Do you remember? Before the fight with Xemnas, I said that if you guys ever went on another adventure, I was coming with you."

"I remember," Riku said softly, taking her hands in his. "I—"

"I don't think I'm ready to go anywhere just yet," Kairi admitted, pulling away from her friend and smiling tearfully at the gravestone. "Not yet, but," she let her fingertips graze over the surface of the stone, a lover's caress, "soon."

Riku let his hands drop. "Yeah," he agreed, barely above a whisper. "Me too."

* * *

'Soon' happened one month later, when Kairi finally approached Riku after her daily visit to Sora's grave—were her eyes red, or was that just him?—and asked him, "What do think Aerith and Leon and the others in the Radiant Garden are doing?" 

And Riku knew the time had come.

"Let's go," he told her. "I'll send a letter to the King."

Kairi trailed after the silver-haired young man as he began to walk back to his house. "Will he get it?" she wondered aloud, hands clasped behind her back.

"Did Sora get _your_ letter?" he asked suddenly, and immediately knew that had been the wrong way to say it. The redhead sucked in a breath of surprise and she stumbled, falling silent and staring at the ground. Heaving a sigh, Riku turned to her and hung his head. "Hey, I'm… sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean it like that."

Kairi nodded. "I—I know," she whispered, and took his hand, repeating to him the same words he had said just minutes before: "Let's go."

And they did. Riku and Kairi sent a letter to Disney Castle, asking King Mickey if he, Donald, and Goofy could take a couple of days off work and escort them to the Radiant Garden. The reply came about a week later, in the form of a red and yellow Gummi Ship docking at the main island. Townspeople marveled over it, and it was an excited Tidus who alerted its presence to Riku and Kairi's attention, mere minutes after it arrived.

"Kairi! Riku!" he called, racing up to them with a wooden sword in hand. They lay, staring up at the sky, on the beach of the smallest islet, and Tidus waved his arms madly, jumping up and down and pointing at the main island. "You won't guess what's here!"

Riku sat up and cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

"Go on, guess!"

The silver-haired young man narrowed his eyes. "No," he said, and Kairi swatted him on the arm and stood up, brushing herself off.

"What is it, Tidus?" she asked calmly, and he blushed despite himself.

"It's a… well, I don't know what it is…"

Riku and Kairi exchanged a glance, wondering if it could be what they hoped it was. Together, they stumbled to their feet and began to race towards the small boats floating in the shallows, leaving Tidus behind in their haste.

Moments later, the two docked at the main island, and immediately spotted Donald, Goofy, and King Mickey chatting with some townspeople next to their parked Gummi Ship. Riku's face lit up—he'd had a feeling they'd arrived—and the silver-haired young man took his redheaded companion's arm and tugged her towards them, a grin spreading over his face.

"Mickey!" cried Riku. "I take it you got my letter."

"Yup!" piped up the mouse. "And it just so happens that nothin' was happenin' up at the castle, and we were able to set off immediately!"

"We sure were," laughed Goofy, and smiled widely at Kairi. "Gawrsh, guys, it's awful nice to see you after such a long time."

"Yeah," squawked Donald. The magician waved his staff in the direction of the townspeople, who were still flitting about, oohing and ahhing over the ship. "What's with these people?" he said suspiciously, big eyes narrowed. "Haven't they ever seen a Gummi Ship before?"

"Probably not," admitted Kairi, beaming down at the duck.

"Riku," said Mickey then, more seriously. He offered the two young adults a small, sad smile. "Can we… go see Sora before we go?"

After Riku and Kairi, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy had been the first told about Sora's death, but the three hadn't gotten the chance to actually visit him until now. There was no way Riku was going to deny the request.

"Yeah, of course," the platinum-haired boy said, and ushered them into a boat. They sailed for the smallest isle and, once there, Riku led them to the hill atop which Sora's gravestone lay.

The group of five went eerily silent as they knelt before the headstone. Riku and Mickey sat beside each other, hands drawn up in prayer. Kairi was next to them, a nostalgic smile on her face, closed eyes stinging slightly. Donald was sniffling quietly, squawking indignantly at himself as he rubbed away tears. Goofy didn't appear outwardly sad; instead, he grinned at the grave and broke a short-lived silence by asking, "How are ya, Sora? Golly, it sure has been a while!"

Kairi looked up in surprise, wondering if this was how Goofy dealt with tragedies. Smiling to herself, she decided that it didn't seem to be a bad way.

"A while," Mickey echoed, opening his formerly closed eyes and beaming. "I hope you're all right, Sora."

"Y-yeah!" exclaimed Donald, stumbling to his feet and fishing a bouquet of half-crushed flowers out of his back pocket. Placing them by the stone, he said stubbornly, "We'll come visit you again real soon, okay?"

Riku felt a smile spread across his face. "I think that's a good idea," he agreed. "Don't you think so, Kairi?"

The young woman nodded but said nothing as she wiped away tears. Still, she was beaming at her old friends, comforted by their composure.

They left soon after, bidding Sora goodbye and heading down the hill. Upon their return to the main island, Riku and Kairi hugged their confused friends—and, in the latter's case, parents—and piled into the Gummi Ship after Mickey, Donald, and Goofy.

They were off in a roar of revved engines, streaking into the afternoon sky and gone in the blink of an eye. As Donald and Goofy manned the ship like pros, Mickey began to prepare some food, while Riku and Kairi were glued to the windows, watching star-speckled heavens shoot by. Riku had been on a Gummi Ship rather recently, but Kairi hadn't, and he was mostly preoccupied with her wide-eyed delight as she remembered what it was like.

"Oh," she whispered, face pressed against the glass. "_Oh_. This is beautiful, Riku—come see!"

He laughed gently and ruffled her long red locks. "I _know_, Kairi."

She distractedly swatted his hand away, not glancing away for one minute. Instead of the regular blue she was so used to seeing, these skies swirled with bright colours, spattered with bursts of what looked like white cloud. A comet-like swirl of purple entwined itself around one colourless blot, staining the whole thing magenta. Nearby, an area dark as midnight, lit every so often by splashes of red and yellow, crackled with energy.

"Look," Kairi said again. She pointed at one bright nebula excitedly. "_Look_, Riku! Come on!"

The silver-haired young man shook his head and humoured her. A fond smile twisted his lips, and he gazed out the window at a swirling nexus of colour. "It's beautiful," he said. _It's like every other sky you see out here._ "Kairi—this is gonna be a long trip, so you should get some rest."

"But we just boarded," she complained as Mickey served up some food.

"Come on, Riku," chirped the mouse with a grin. "Let her enjoy it for a bit." He turned to Kairi. "Is this the first time you've been on a Gummi Ship?"

She shook her head, taking a bite out of the sandwich that the King had offered. "No," she said through a mouthful, gaze darting back to the sky beyond the window. The young woman swallowed, eyes gleaming. "I just haven't been on one in a long time and—wow, this is so _cool_!"

Mickey laughed and moved into the cockpit of the ship to offer the two pilots their food, leaving Riku and Kairi alone. The girl finished her sandwich in two more bites and then returned to the window, gazing with wide violet eyes at the multicoloured comets streaking by. "I don't know how you can just sit there so _casually_, Riku," she gasped.

He shrugged. "You get used to it," the young man said. Silence fell, and the two stood there for what seemed like forever, one captivated by the stars, the other by their companion.

* * *

"Kairi?" Riku said, eventually. She turned towards him, gazing up at him from under long lashes, and smiled. He returned the gesture and said, "Maybe you should go rest? You're tired." 

"No," she insisted, turning back to the heavens. "I want to watch."

"Kai_ri_," the young man sighed, taking his friend by the arm and leading her away from the window. "Come on, I don't even know how long we've been standing here. Donald and Goofy need to sleep, too, and Mickey and I are taking over. You, on the other hand, should get some rest."

Kairi pouted up at him, even as her eyes fluttered closed. "Fine," she said, rubbing her face. "_Mom_."

Riku grinned and shooed her away. She went without too much complaint, joining Goofy and Donald in the back rooms of the Gummi Ship, where the bunks lay in wait. Still moping, she threw herself onto one without even getting undressed. Ironically, as soon as her head hit the pillow, Kairi was out like a light, and stayed that way until she felt a hand shaking her shoulder, and a gentle voice saying, "Kairi? Kairi, wake up."

She groggily opened her eyes and groped for an alarm clock that wasn't there. "Ugh," she said. "Riku? What're you doing here?"

The silver-haired young man chuckled softly. "You've forgotten where you are, huh?" he said fondly, and pointed out the nearby window. "Look out there."

Kairi lifted her head, rubbed her eyes, and squinted out the porthole. Her gaze went wide and her mouth fell open as she saw several shooting stars streak by on a sky the very colour of her eyes. She rubbed her eyes again, just to make sure she wasn't imagining it, and then sat up with a loud cry. "Oh!" she said, remembering. "_Oh,_ I can't believe I forgot!"

Riku laughed and took her hand, pulling her out of bed. He led her into the main room of the vessel, and up to the big window. "Look," the young man said, pointing, "we've arrived."

Kairi gazed in open-mouthed wonder, too stunned to say anything. The Gummi Ship was hovering, suspended in the purple atmosphere, above the Radiant Garden. Far below, she could see ant-sized people moving around on tiny streets. Off in the distance, the familiar sight of the once-grand castle stood out like an eyesore beyond fields of blue.

Riku turned to her with a grin. "I guess, Kairi," he exclaimed, "it could be said that you're home."


	7. and who knows?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix does.

* * *

_and who knows?_  
· VI ·

* * *

"Kairi!" exclaimed Yuffie, opening the door to Merlin's house to greet the redhead who had just rung the doorbell. The ninja flew forward and threw her arms around the young woman's neck, pulling her close in a tight hug. "I haven't seen you in _forever_!" 

"Y-yeah," Kairi managed, as her enthusiastic friend was steadily cutting off her air supply. "I—it's good to see you to. But could you please let go…?"

"Of course!" Yuffie chirped, releasing her friend and glancing behind her. "Oh!" A warm smile spread across her face. "Donald! Goofy! King Mickey! It's so great to see you all and—who's this?" She'd just noticed Riku, standing awkwardly at the back, hands stuffed in his pockets. She squinted at him, hands on her hips, and guessed, "You must be the infamous _Riku_, right?"

He tried at a smile. "Yeah," the young man said. "I'm Riku."

"Well, come on in!" the exuberant ninja crowed, and lead the way inside. "Guess what!" she thundered in the direction of the other inhabitants of the house, who all sat around a small table in the centre of the room, eating lunch.

Aerith jumped to her feet, a kind smile blossoming on her heart-shaped face. "Kairi!" she called, walking over and embracing the young woman warmly. "Goofy, Donald, how good to see you. And—King Mickey! It has been a long time."

"It sure has," exclaimed the mouse, putting his bags down in the corner of the room.

As Leon, Cid, and Merlin joined her, Aerith turned her gaze on Riku and frowned. "I don't believe we've met," the woman said kindly, brushing a lock of auburn hair behind her ears and smoothing her pink dress. "I'm Aerith."

"I'm—" began the boy, only to be interrupted by the ever-joyful Yuffie.

"He's _Riku_, Aerith!" she exclaimed, prodding the young man in the chest and beaming at her friends. "You know, the one we've heard so much about!"

"Oh, yes, I remember now," said Merlin, squinting over his glasses and clearing his throat. "Well, hello there, m'boy. And greetings to you, too, Kairi, Goofy, Donald, King Mickey. I trust you've all been well."

"Sit down," ordered Cid gruffly, forcing his new guests into seats at the table and retreating into the back, where a small stove waited. A boiling pot of water sat there, wheezing furiously. With his back turned, he spat out his toothpick and said, "Want some tea?"

Kairi smiled. "Yeah, thanks."

Leon was the last one to take his place at the table, his arms crossed firmly over his chest, long brown hair falling into closed eyes. "So, where's Sora?" he asked, the first words he had said since the group's arrival.

Kairi and the rest went deathly silent. Donald scuffed his webbed toes into the floor, avoiding everyone's gaze as, beside him, Mickey and Goofy stared up at the cobwebs hanging from the ceiling. Without thinking, Riku slung an arm around Kairi's shaking shoulders. As Cid slammed a steaming mug down in front of the young woman and said, "Here's your goddamn tea," she began to cry.

Aerith leapt up, pretty face creasing in worry. "What's wrong?" she asked, setting down her own cup before it ever touched her lips. "Kairi?"

Cid studied the young woman's puffy face, his own brow furrowing. "Yo," he said, "what's up?"

Riku heaved a sigh and squeezed the redhead's shoulders, as if asking permission. When she sniffled and nodded, he steeled himself, looked up, and said softly, "Sora is dead."

Aerith fell back into her chair, emerald eyes going wide in shock. Leon turned away and Cid dropped a boiling cup of tea all over himself. As he jumped and yelled obscenities, Merlin adjusted his glasses, whispering, "What?" just as Yuffie stumbled, eyes narrowing as she proclaimed, "Haha—very funny, guys."

"It's not a joke," Riku said. "Sora died a couple of months ago."

"What—ow, damn it—happened?" exclaimed Cid, nursing his burns with a hiss of indrawn breath.

Glancing at Kairi, who nodded once more, Riku sat down at the table and launched into the very story he had recalled a month before in the comfort of his room. He went into as much detail as necessary, while the redhead beside him stayed silent the entire time, tears streaking down her pale face.

Donald, Goofy, and Mickey were the ones who confirmed this story once Riku had finished, reluctantly stepping forward and admitting that it was true.

"I don't _believe_ this," whispered Merlin. "The Keybearer, ever-optimistic Sora, _dead_? It seems almost impossible."

Riku laughed dryly. "Yeah, that's what I thought, too."

Aerith worried her lower lip, hands fluttering about distractedly. "Do you… do you think," she began softly, as if the very idea of this might be blasphemous. "No… I mean… there may be something, but…"

The silver-haired boy's eyes narrowed. "What?"

"Ah, no," the woman said hastily, waving her arms dismissively. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"What is it?" echoed Kairi.

Aerith looked at her lap. "What if… I might know a way to bring Sora back?"

Riku leapt to his feet and Kairi's hands flew to her mouth, muffling a joyous gasp. The brunette winced at this response and shook her head regretfully. "But," she added quickly, emerald eyes downcast, "I'm afraid that I'm not quite sure how it works. All I know is that it is forbidden in many worlds, and involves magic—a lot of magic—"

"I know magic!" piped up Donald enthusiastically, waving his staff around and accidentally setting the stove on fire. "Let's do it!"

"It's not that simple," cut in Merlin as Cid and Yuffie desperately tried to put the flames out. "I think I know what she's talking about, and if I'm right, it's highly dangerous—that is to say, there is a _reason_ it was banned."

"Gawrsh," said Goofy uncertainly. "Was it banned in this world, too?"

Merlin nodded, pushing his spectacles up his nose and clearing his throat. "Yes," he admitted. "But I do believe I own a book on the very topic—I'll go see." He vanished into with a puff of purple blue smoke, reappearing only moments later with a thick tome in hand. "Found it!" the old wizard said breathlessly, excited despite himself, and began to flip through the dog-eared pages. "Hmm, let's see… no, no… ah! Got it!" He stared down his long nose at the words on the page and frowned. "The… Umbra spell."

Leon, who had been silent all this time, finally turned around. "_That_?" he said, and shook his head. "No. That's _way_ too dangerous if you don't know what you're doing."

Donald and Riku both jumped forward, the duck crying out indignantly, "Excuse me! I'm a magician, of course I _know_ what I'm doing!"

On the other hand, the silver-haired young man fixed Leon with a vicious glare and growled, "You haven't said a word all this time—do you even _care_ about Sora?" Before Leon had the chance to respond, Riku raced up to him and grabbed his collar, forcing the older man back against the wall. "Sora was my best friend!" he shouted, eyes that were too bright flashing. "I thought he was gone forever, and suddenly I hear that he can be brought back, and you—"

"Hey, hey!" Yuffie said, leaving Cid to douse the rest of the flames. She pulled Riku off Leon and jumped in between them before the boy regained his balance. "He didn't mean anything by it, Riku! Calm down!"

The young man still wasn't satisfied, but he finally tore his angry gaze from Leon's stoic one and turned away. "Fuck you," he whispered into his shoes.

Leon readjusted his coat calmly. "If we want to bring Sora back," he said carefully, "we'd want to do some studying on this spell." Riku turned back to him, eyes going wide. "After all, if we mess it up, who knows what could happen? It could very well cause disaster, and it might not even bring back the Sora that you know and love—"

The meaning of his words was forgotten as Goofy and Donald jumped him, wrapping their scrawny arms around the older man and laughing joyously. Even Riku, his anger simmering, uncrossed his arms and muttered, "I—thank you."

When Kairi smiled wetly up at Leon, her face glistening with tears, the man shook his head and sighed, "Look, Kairi, dry your eyes. If we want Sora to come back, we need to… to be positive."

Furiously, she wiped at her streaming eyes and exclaimed, "I'm not crying!"

Beside her, Yuffie laughed and punched an arm into the air. "_Yeah_!" the hyperactive ninja shrieked, jumping around the room. "All _right_!"

* * *

Next thing everyone knew, they were all hard at work, gathering all the books on the Umbra spell from the Radiant Garden's library. Once they had exhausted their resources, Riku and Kairi became eager to depart for Destiny Islands once more. 

Instead of studying with the others, Riku mostly spent his time looking out over the once grand castle. Though the place held no happy memories for him, he still was compelled to watch it and the Heartless that swarmed at its feet. One day, sick of researching, Kairi joined him, unaware of the fact that he had just been fighting an annoying group of flying monsters that had come from the castle.

"Riku," she asked as she neared, sitting down beside him on the cliff's edge and swinging her legs gently, "are you all right?"

"Huh?" he said, head snapping towards her as if just realising she was there. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Some Heartless tried to mess with me, but," the familiar hilt of his Way to the Dawn tingled in his fingers, the blade thrumming insistently, "they were no match for me."

"Of course they weren't," the young woman smiled, staring up at the sky. Silence fell, and Kairi was afraid of breaking it, at least until she blurted out before she could stop herself, "Do you think we'll be able to bring Sora back?"

Riku turned to her with a reassuring smile on his face. "Of course," he said, eyes twinkling at the thought. "Of course we will, Kairi."

She grinned, abashed, and looked down at her lap. His confidence was inspiring. "Yeah," she murmured. "You're right." The young woman paused, and then added, "I hope we'll go back to the Islands soon. I miss it there, and…" _And once we get home, we'll be able to bring Sora back. _"Well… Aerith and the others are coming with us, aren't they?"

Riku nodded. "Yeah. Just to make sure we don't mess up."

"I'm glad," Kairi whispered, and threw her legs back onto solid ground. She stood up and offered Riku her hand. "We'd better get back to Merlin's house," she said, "and help them with the research."

Riku nodded reluctantly and accepted her help, allowing her to pull him up. "I guess," he said unenthusiastically, and they walked back into town in silence.

* * *

A few days later, Riku awoke to hushed conversations. It was the middle of the night, and no time to be awake, but all the beds around him—housing Leon, Cid, Goofy, Donald, and the rest—were buzzing with activity. 

"I don't know about this," someone who sounded suspiciously like Leon was saying. "I—ow! Goofy, is that your… foot?"

"Ahyuck! Sorry!"

The big Leon-shaped lump in the bed opposite Riku's turned over, and he murmured quietly, "I really don't think the Umbra spell is a good idea. From what I've read about it, it seems really dangerous."

"Yeah," chimed in Cid. "It seemed pretty damn risky. What the hell was it on about, again? Oh, yeah—how if you mess it up _at all_, the damn spell would bring back somethin' akin to your worst nightmare! I dunno about you guys, but that doesn't sound like fun to me—and it _is _banned in most worlds."

"But we can't pass up this chance," Mickey said then. "After all, if we do it right, Sora could come back…"

"Yeah," said Riku, speaking for the first time. He sensed everyone's surprise, and hid a grin. "He'll come back, and everything will be great." His smile faded. "And Kairi will be happy again."

There was silence in response. Eventually, Merlin's croaky voice asked, "Ahem… just how long have you been listening, m'boy?"

"Why?" replied the silver-haired young man suspiciously. "Was there something that you didn't want me to hear?"

"Of course not," said Mickey hastily. "But… what do you think of this spell, Riku?"

"I think it's a _great _idea," he said emphatically. "It's a spell to bring my best friend back. What do you expect, for me not to want it?" When quiet yet again answered him, Riku frowned. "What's _wrong_ with you guys? Yeah, yeah, if we get it wrong, everything's screwed—so what? We just have to do it _right_. Hey, it can't be that hard."

"It's not that simple," Leon argued.

"Yeah, it's damn complicated magic," agreed Cid. "But with fellers who're familiar with that stuff around—like Donald, Aerith, and Merlin—I'd say we're fine."

"Yeah," Mickey said unconvincingly, and all was again silent. In this way, minute after minute past, and they soon slid into hours, until the only sound in the room was everyone's relaxed breathing.

But one still lay awake, troubled by his friends' words. He stared up at the ceiling until the sun rose, when he finally fell asleep.

The next morning, around noon, Riku finally stumbled into the dining room, ages after everyone else. There were deep, dark bags under his eyes, and he flopped into a nearby chair, sleepily groping for a glass of water. The poor boy had been up all night, thinking.

"Ugh," he mumbled, "I'm so tired."

Kairi, who, unbeknownst to Riku, had also overslept, shook her head. "Me too," she said, rubbing at her face. "I didn't sleep so well last night."

Aerith smiled at them. "Well, this should cheer you up," she said kindly. "I took all the books on the Umbra spell back to the library this morning, which means…" Her grin widened. "We're ready to set off for Destiny Islands."

Riku dashed to his feet. "Really?" he said excitedly.

Mickey nodded. "We just have to gather the necessary ingredients," he said, "and we can leave!"

Goofy and Donald leapt up, dancing around the table with their hands in the air. Yuffie eagerly joined them, shouting, "Yay, yay!" When Leon fixed her with a stern glare, however, she returned to her seat with a blushing smile. "Sorry," she said breezily. "I'm just excited."

Leon looked at the floor. "Yuffie," he mumbled, more to his feet than to her, "you'll be… staying here, with Cid… to watch over the house."

The ninja's eyes went wide. "_What_?" she screeched, jumping up.

Cid stuck a finger in his ear. "Watch it," he snapped, "your voice is so goddamn annoying."

The young woman rounded on him, furious from the unfairness of it all. "_Cid_!" she roared, jabbing a slender finger at his chest accusatorily. "They can't be serious! I have to stay here with _you_?"

"Don't sound so excited," the older man said sarcastically, crossing his arms over his chest and sticking his nose in the air.

Yuffie's anger fell away, and she turned back to Leon and the others. "Come _on_, guys," she pleaded. "Let me go with you," she grabbed onto the left sleeve of Merlin's long blue robe and fell to her knees, "_please_."

"Gawrsh, I'm sorry, Yuffie," laughed Goofy, scratching the back of his head. "But I just don't see how you'd be useful in a mission like this one!"

The ninja let her hand drop. "Aww, man," she mumbled into her lap. Suddenly, her head snapped up and she pointed straight at Riku, declaring loudly, "Okay, _fine_, but when you bring Sora back, you better get your asses over here so I can see him!"

The silver-haired young man couldn't help but smile. "Yeah," he agreed softly, his heart soaring at the thought of Sora's return. "We will."


	8. starting a new journey may not be hard

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix does.

* * *

_starting a new journey may not be so hard_  
· VII ·

* * *

The group of eight waved goodbye to Cid and Yuffie, and clambered aboard the duck and the dog's Gummi Ship. With notes on the Umbra spell in hand, Aerith sat down at a table in the main room of the vessel, and beckoned her friends over. Donald and Goofy left to pilot the ship, while an exhausted Kairi vanished into the bunks to sleep. 

That left Riku, Mickey, Merlin, and Leon to join Aerith.

The young woman waved her papers and smiled at her friends. "I've collected the elements that we need to execute the charm," she said. "Reflega, Stopra… it's a very complicated spell, but I think that with the knowledge we have now, Donald and I should be able to do it." Laughing gently, Aerith admitted, "It's certainly one of the most complex magicks I've ever encountered."

"I'm sure you'll do great!" Mickey exclaimed, grinning up at her. "I'm sure everything will go perfectly—don't be nervous."

"Yeah, Aerith," said Leon, crossing his arms over his chest. He still stood, and was gazing out the window at the cosmos shooting by. "Just make sure you get enough rest, and you'll do fine."

She smiled at the man, even though he had his back turned and couldn't see her. "Yes."

Silence fell, to be eventually broken by Mickey's piped, "Anybody want some food? I feel like I haven't eaten in a week—I'm starving!"

There were murmurs of approval, and Riku discreetly excused himself from the table, making for the back rooms, where Kairi would be sleeping. He crept in, found her bed in the darkness—the only light in the room was provided by the small, glowing porthole—and sat down beside the young woman. She was fast asleep, and Riku gently brushed strands of hair off her forehead. "Everything will be great, Kairi," he whispered. "Sora will come back. You'll be happy. I will," his hand shook a little as he smoothed away her long crimson tresses, "be happy."

"Riku?"

The young man stumbled to his feet, eyes flying to the doorway, where Merlin's old, stooped silhouette could be seen. "Y-yes?" he called, a little nervous. "I'm coming." Riku strode quickly from Kairi's side, completely unaware of how her eyes flickered and opened, and past Merlin, back into the main room.

The old wizard watched him go, and then turned back to Kairi, who was now pretending to be asleep. A worried frown marred his features, and he murmured, "I hope things turn out for the best," before turning and disappearing into the hall.

Alone again, Kairi sat up in bed and twirled one lock of hair around her finger, the same strands that her friend had been so gently fixing. "Riku," she murmured softly, brow drawn. Silently, she sank back into her bed, willing herself to fall back asleep and forget all her troubles.

* * *

By the time Kairi woke up the next morning, they had already docked at Destiny Islands, on the smallest isle. She was the only one still on the Gummi Ship, so she desperately threw on some clothes and rushed outside. Her friends all stood at the door of the vessel, with the exception of Riku, who was flat on his back in the sand. Tidus and Selphie stood over him, hands on their hips. Nearby, Wakka hefted a blitzball menacingly. 

"Where'd you _go_?" Tidus exclaimed, jumping up and down like a small child. He spotted Kairi and flushed a deep red. "Kairi!" he called, pointing toward Aerith and the rest. "Who're these guys? Where'd you go?" He turned his gaze to the Gummi Ship. "What _is _that?"

Hurrying over, Kairi distractedly hugged her friends hello, helped Riku up off the ground, and explained, "Those are my friends. We went to—oh, never mind. And that's a Gummi Ship."

"What do you mean 'oh, never mind'?" Selphie exploded, hands balled into fists. "I want to hear the story!" Discreetly, she pointed at Leon and whispered in the redhead's ear, "and I want to know just who that incredibly gorgeous guy is!"

Riku, who had just accepted a bottle of water from Mickey, happened to overhear this and nearly spat the beverage out.

"Riku," Kairi scolded, and, despite her rapidly reddening face, she turned away from Selphie without answering the question, slapping the choking young man hard on the back. "Be careful!"

"Sorry," the boy replied, regaining his composure and beckoning to his confused, foreign friends. "I'll see you guys later," he called back to Tidus, Selphie, and Wakka. A smile spread across his face. "We'll have a surprise to show you."

* * *

Donald jumped from foot to foot, punching the fist that wasn't holding his magical staff into the air. "All right," he said, shaking himself. "I can do this. I won't mess this up. Aerith will help me. Everything's gonna—" 

"Calm _down_, Donald!" Merlin chided, patting the duck on the head. "You'll do fine, just relax!" Offering his short friend a smile, the aging wizard turned toward Leon and said, "Perhaps I should find and prepare the townspeople? Sora's mother in particular, of course. It would come as quite a shock for your formerly dead son to very suddenly reappear on your doorstep."

Leon nodded, and Riku barely had time to give the old man brief directions to Sora's house before he was gone, setting off down the hill at a pace that was far too fast for the elderly.

Shaking his head, the silver-haired boy turned back to Aerith and Donald and nodded. "It's time," he said, and raised the shovel he had gotten from his basement high. Leon echoed the movement with a smaller spade of his own, and both began to dig.

Twenty minutes later, the two exhausted men pulled a circular casket from the hole they had made up onto solid ground. Aerith and Donald took deep breaths and walked over with a quaking Kairi. As Riku stood back and leaned on the hilt of his shovel to rest for a moment, Leon pulled the lid off the coffin. Inside, with his arms pulled up to his knees and head hanging low, sat Sora. His eyes were closed; it would be easy to believe that he was merely asleep.

Kairi stared down at the young man with wide violet eyes. "Sora," she whispered, tears blurring her vision.

Even Riku found it hard to look at the body. "How does this work?" he muttered, eyes glued to the dirt. "Do we have to… take him out… or what?"

King Mickey winced. "I think," he guessed, "that it would be best to lay him flat on the ground."

Riku took a deep, shaky breath. "Okay," he sighed, and stepped forward. He and Leon slowly worked the body from the casket and placed the doll-like figure prostrate on the dirt. Kairi covered her eyes with her hands and worried her lower lip in hopeful anticipation.

_Please work, please work, please…_

Aerith and Donald exchanged a glance, nodding as calmly as they could. "Please, step back," the former told the others. They immediately obeyed and sat down in the dirt, and she stepped forward with the duck at her side.

"I'm going to," Leon said suddenly, "go… help Merlin."

As he set off down the hill, Kairi stared after him tearfully. _I don't blame him for not wanting to be here,_ she thought, hiccupping and wiping away her tears. _But I have to stay. _

Donald raised his staff. Aerith closed her eyes and clasped her hands. Together, they began to chant in a language that neither Kairi nor Riku had ever heard. For many minutes, the two magicians recited this charm. It was just starting to look hopeless, when—

Sora's fingers twitched, curling into a fist.

Riku stumbled into a standing position. _We've done it!_ he thought, not brave enough to speak, for fear that he might disturb the spell._ He's alive!_

Light surrounded Sora, playing with his dark hair, lifting his hands into skyward. His eyelids fluttered as the light enveloped him, and his mouth opened wide as he sucked in a deep breath.

Kairi was crying again, this time with happiness. "Sora," she whispered, wanting to reach out and touch his hand, to let him know that she was there…

Aerith and Donald chanted still. Their light, with splashes of darkness flickering in and out of sight, spilled forth and encased Sora in a glowing cocoon. It raised him high above the ground, and—all of a sudden—his bright sky-blue eyes, blinded by light, finally opened.

The light faded.

Gently, Sora was released from the spell's bind, floating down to the ground. Upon his landing, he nearly fell, knees knocking together, arms wheeling madly as he struggled to keep his newfound balance. Riku took a shaky step forward, barely believing his eyes.

"Sora?" he said, reaching out.

His friend didn't reply, merely throwing Riku a distracted glance before turning away, a slow smile slipping across his pale face. Immediately, the brunet made toward the stunned Kairi, who ran toward him, still weeping with joy.

"Kairi," he whispered, coming to stand next to her. As she looked up at him, she felt a flicker of unease before the young man cupped her cheek and kissed her sweetly. A stunned Riku let his hand drop to his side as Kairi stilled in Sora's arms. She would have fallen if not for his other arm encircling her waist. He tasted her tears on his lips and smirked against hers, one hand darting out and wrenching her back by the hair.

Too shocked to do anything more but let out a choked cry of surprise, she stumbled back, and Sora drove a hand into her stomach viciously. Staring up into triumphant eyes—not blue, but _yellow_—Kairi crumpled, vision hazy with pain as she fell back, hitting the dirt hard.

Riku jerked forward, his gaze darting between his grinning friend and the fallen girl. "Sora—!" he shouted. "What… what the _hell_ is wrong with you?"

The brunet turned toward him, and Riku felt a shiver run down his spine. He could do nothing but watch in horrified silence as the thing that looked like Sora began to melt away, his clothes coming off in strips to reveal inky black darkness. His face contorted, the skin dripping like a candle left out in the sun, replaced with shadow. His eyes glowed fierce amber, and soon all that remained of Sora was an ebony silhouette.

Aerith fell to her knees. "What have we _done_?" she gasped.

Goofy and Donald exchanged a terrified glance. "I'll go find Leon," they shouted. "He'll know what to do!" With that, they set off down the hill, a frantic Mickey hot on their trail.

Riku, his hands curled into angry fists, dashed toward Kairi, dropping to all fours beside her. He went to put his arms around her, but she pushed him away, muffling a sob of confused heartbreak. _No,_ the young man thought, clutching her close despite her struggle and glaring up at the Sora-creature. _No, this isn't supposed to be this way! Everything was supposed to be perfect!  
_  
"S-Sora," Kairi whimpered, tears streaming down her face. Her arms were cinched around her stomach, and she wept bitterly. "How could you…?"

"This thing _isn't_ Sora, Kairi," Riku whispered, eyes glittering with an emotion that no one could identify. Coiled to attack, he turned to the monster and said, "What are you?"

The replica of Sora cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowing. "I'm your best friend," he replied in a hollow voice, a cruel grin twisting his lips.

Gently, Riku released Kairi and jumped to his feet, feeling the familiar hilt of the Way to the Dawn materialise in his hand. He brandished it with one arm outstretched, aquamarine eyes narrowed into furious slits.

The monster opposite him inspected his weapon closely and then raised his own hands to the sky expectantly, his constant smirk widening. Riku could only watch in horror as Sora's familiar Keyblade fell into the creature's fingers.

This was the last straw. Letting out a roar of rage, Riku charged his enemy, lifting his weapon high. The replica merely ducked the blow and slashed at his opponent's stomach. Riku barely managed to avoid the strike, jumping back and landing with the effortless grace of much practise. The shadow merely smirked and dropped to his knees, his Keyblade disappearing and leaving only a plume of black smoke behind. Darting forward on all fours, he leapt toward Riku and raised one hand; Riku saw too late the knifelike tips of his long fingernails. Pain swept through the young man's body as the edges of the Sora-creature's claws cut through his stomach, tearing both cloth and skin.

Riku clutched his torso, blood dripping through his fingers as he fell back, one arm braced against the ground. When he tried to stand, his legs wouldn't support him and he collapsed again, just catching himself with his Way to the Dawn.

"I couldn't beat you as a child," the Sora-thing mocked. "So why do you fall so easily now?"

"You're _not_ Sora," growled Riku, struggling to get up once more. Nothing happened, and the replica approached with menacing leisure, summoning his Keyblade once more and holding it to Riku's neck.

"Sora, _no_!" Kairi wailed suddenly, finally rising from where she had been frozen on her knees. She ran desperately toward the two fighters, and latched onto the shadow being's arm. "You can't do this!" Tears sparkled in her eyes, and she pulled his hand back, her own closing over the hilt of the weapon. "You just can't! I _know _you're not Sora, but he must be in there somewh—"

The monster broke free of her hold and, before anyone could stop him, he had raised his blade and struck Kairi hard across the face with the hilt. She spun away, suspended in the air, a bruise blossoming on her pale face, before falling hard against the ground with a crash, unconscious.

"Kairi!" Riku choked out, and forced himself to his knees.

"Not so fast," snarled the shadow, a mocking lilt to its tone as he held up his Keyblade before his opponent. "You're not going anywhere until you—" Suddenly, he interrupted himself with a horrified moan, retreating and clutching his inky black skull, the Key now nothing more than smoldering air between his fingers. The monster shook himself wildly, yellow eyes too bright, screaming, "No! Get out of my head!"

"Wh-what?" Riku murmured as the monster convulsed madly. The silver-haired young man could only watch, stunned, as, for an instant, the shadowy surface of his opponent faded away, revealing Sora. The _real_ Sora, with his spiky brown hair, his sky-blue eyes, his big shoes, and his puffy black pants. And he smiled down at Riku with that same goofy grin.

Riku was frozen to the spot. "Sora?" he managed, and the boy nodded cheerfully.

But then the brunet's smile faltered, and, for a split second, he looked worried. He opened his mouth to speak, but it was too late. Sora began to vanish, the inky darkness bleeding through his clothes, his skin. His cerulean eyes, wide and apologetic, were replaced by glittering pits of angry amber, and suddenly the shadow Sora had returned, a cruel grin blooming on his face.

"That weakling," he growled, flexing his hand and smirking in satisfaction when the Keyblade returned to his fingertips, "stood no chance against me."

Riku, using the Way to the Dawn as a crutch, hurried to his feet. His mind was racing—that had been the real Sora, he was sure of it!

The Sora-creature raised his weapon high. "Just like him," he said to Riku, "you will be wiped from this world."

"What did you do to Sora?!"

"I got rid of him," the monster answered simply, and leapt into the air with his claws outstretched.

Suddenly Aerith, frozen to the spot until that very moment, leapt forward, both hands frantically whirling and twisting in the air. A sphere of white magic formed between her palms, and she flung it at the Sora-creature, freezing him mid-flight.

Riku stared at the mage and very slowly relaxed, his Way to the Dawn dropping carelessly to the ground as the exhausted young man fell again to his knees. "Th-thank you."

Just then, several pairs of feet rocketed up the hill. Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and a very confused Leon approached frantically, eyes fixed on the frozen being.

"What happened?" quacked the duck, stepping toward the monster, his brow furrowed. "Is that… _Stopra_?" He prodded the creature and the magical barrier fizzed, sending an electric shock through his small body. "Wow," Donald squawked jealously, sucking on his burnt finger, "that's strong!"

"What should we do? Should I… unfreeze it?" Aerith asked uncertainly.

Just then, a giant _shuriken_ sliced through the air. Aerith and the others leapt back to avoid being hit by it as it curved back in a graceful arc toward its owner. Everyone turned toward the new arrival, and their mouths dropped open.

Yuffie Kisaragi stood at the top of the hill, a triumphant smile spreading across her face.


	9. or maybe it's already begun

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix does._  
_

* * *

_or maybe it's already begun_  
· VIII ·

* * *

"Stop right there!" the ninja shouted, striking a heroic pose. "Don't take another step toward that weird anti-Sora-_thing_!" 

Leon stared up at her in disbelief. His mouth moved over unvoiced protests before he spluttered, "Yuffie?" For once, his composure was severely lacking. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Not just me," declared the young woman, and just then, Cid Highwind mounted the hill, waving around what looked like several pieces of notebook paper.

"Hello, you bastards!" he exclaimed with a grin.

* * *

"You won't believe what I found out!" Yuffie gushed. The entire group was gathered around Riku's dinner table. Anti-Sora, as he had been dubbed—strongly reminding Riku of the Heartless he set on Sora while in Neverland a couple of years before—was still frozen. He was trapped in a magical cage conjured by Aerith and Donald's combined forces, should the Stopra spell falter and he be set free. 

"You guys left a book behind," the ninja continued. "You borrowed it from the library, and forgot that it existed! I had to take it back, and they charged me a lot of munny." She shot Aerith a stern look, but couldn't hide the triumph in her eyes. "You're paying for that."

"Get to the point," Leon said grumpily.

"Oh, yeah. Well, anyway, I took a look through it before taking it back, and it listed an element of the spell that I was damn sure that you guys forgot."

Aerith moaned miserably, burying her face in her palms, while Merlin turned to Cid and asked, "Is this true?"

"Actually, it was me who found the book," the older man exclaimed with a lazy shrug, much to Yuffie's chagrin. "But that's pretty much the story, yeah."

"Anyway!" the young ninja said pointedly. "It also said a way to get rid of the monster that you guys unleashed." She held up the scrap paper that Cid had been holding earlier, beaming. "And it's all right here."

Donald grappled for the parchment, leaping up onto the table in his haste. "Let me see!" he demanded.

Yuffie grinned and held them just above his reach. "Nuh-uh," she said. "Not so fast." She turned back to Aerith and the others, her grin widening. "Don't you guys have something to say to me?" she exclaimed, dangling the papers in the air enticingly. "Come on, I know you do."

Leon rolled his eyes and snatched the notes from his shorter companion's grasp. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said calmly, and began to flip through the data.

"Le_on_," whined Yuffie. "Give that _back_!"

"You know what?" he asked, turning to Aerith and making a point of completely ignoring the ninja. "I think this will be lot of help."

Merlin laughed and pushed his glasses up his nose. "Why, that's certainly a surprise!" the old wizard chortled good-naturedly, and leaned over Leon's shoulder. "So, what have you found, m'boy? Anything useful?"

The young man scanned the page. "Everything," he answered after a long silence, and turned to the frozen Anti-Sora with his brow drawn. "Aerith."

The brunette's head snapped up, emerald eyes glittering. Her hands danced in her lap distractedly, and she looked very distraught. "Yes?" she said, glancing from Leon to the trapped creature inside the magical cage. "What is it?"

"If you unfreeze him," her friend asked softly, "he still won't be able to escape that cage, right?"

Aerith nodded, standing. "Yes, that's correct," she said, walking over. "You want me to dispel my Stopra, then?" When he nodded, she swallowed hard and held up her hands. That same sphere of light that had first frozen Anti-Sora was drawn back into her fingertips, and the shadowy being inside the cage suddenly started, as if waking from a long sleep.

After a moment of uncertainty, Anti-Sora's golden eyes narrowed as he examined his surroundings, and he reached out to the bars of his cage. The barrier fizzled and he drew his hand back with a hiss of pain. "What is this enchantment?" the monster demanded heatedly. "Release me at once!"

"I'll do no such thing," Aerith said firmly, and turned to Leon. "What are you planning?" she asked him in a hushed tone. He shook his head slightly and she frowned. "Fine," the young woman said reluctantly, returning to her seat at the table, "I'll leave it to you."

But, before Leon could say a word, Riku had stepped up to the bars of the cage, his eyes bright with fury. "I'll make you pay for what you did to Kairi," he snarled, thinking of the young woman currently unconscious in his bed, her rosy cheeks now blemished with the bruise that the Keyblade's hilt had left.

"Oh, will you now?" replied Anti-Sora, a mocking lilt to his tone.

Riku wanted to strangle the creature then and there, but Mickey's hand touching his was a sudden reminder to hold back. The silver-haired young man was about to turn away in disgust when a question struck him, and he whirled back around. "What did you do to Sora?" Riku demanded angrily.

Donald, though he had not witnessed the Keybearer's return and did not know specifically what Riku was speaking of, echoed his words. "Yeah!" cried the duck. "What'd you do? You'd better give Sora back right now!"

"Gawrsh," Goofy whispered sadly in his friend's ear, "I don't think he _is_ coming back, Donald."

A loud _thwack _echoed throughout the room, and Goofy stumbled back, clutching his head where Donald's magical staff had struck him. "Ow!" the dog yelped, rubbing where an egg-shaped lump would rise later.

"Don't be dumb," hissed Donald. "We'll find a way to fix this spell, to bring Sora back for real… right, guys?"

No one answered his question, or even spoke until Riku grabbed the bars of Anti-Sora's magical cage and, despite the pain, shouted, "What did you do to him? I saw him, he was really there!"

Everyone in the room, save Aerith, fell into a confused silence. They turned to the young woman expectantly, and she explained in a hushed whisper, "While Riku and… Anti-Sora were fighting, there was a moment where I would have _sworn_ I saw the real Sora—smiling and everything! And then… he was just _gone_. I don't know what happened."

"I'll tell you," said the monster in the cage. He grinned down at them, yellow eyes glimmering wickedly. "I am privy to Sora's memories—and he once transformed into a Heartless, right?" There were tentative murmurs of consent from around the room, and Anti-Sora's grin widened in triumph. "And that time, he was able to come back from the darkness."

"Gawrsh, are you saying that he tried to come back this time?" Goofy asked.

"Yes," cackled the shadow creature, fairly shaking with mirth. "But I was too strong, and overpowered him, sending him back into the darkness where he belongs! _I _will now live in the world of light, while he remains trapped deep inside."

At these words, Riku's anger bubbled to the surface once more, but he finally released the cage. Ignoring the burns crisscrossing his hands, he snarled, "Not for long! We'll destroy you and bring Sora back!"

Anti-Sora grinned. "Destroy me you may," he mocked, "but your Sora will never be able to return."

All eyes in the room flew to Yuffie, who nodded glumly. "He's telling the truth," she said miserably. "It said in the book that Cid and I found that, if we destroy this thing, Sora won't be able to come back."

Riku took a deep, steadying breath. "And just how do we go about 'destroying this thing'?" he said levelly, walking over to Yuffie and ignoring the sudden lack of confidence in Anti-Sora.

"You're really going to try and destroy me?" the shadow exclaimed. "You'll take apart Sora's soul in the process!" He let out a bark of a derisive laugh and sneered, "I highly doubt that you're brave enough to do such a thing. What about that girl, the little redheaded one stupid enough to interrupt my battle? Will _she _be all right with you ridding this world of her lover forever?"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Riku spat without turning around. Unexplainable anger rushed him—why was he so _mad_?—and, furious eyes glittering, he jabbed a finger at the notes in Yuffie's hands and murmured, dangerously soft, "How do we do this?"

The ninja looked uncertain. "Maybe we _should _wait until Kairi's awake," she said softly. "You know… just to see how she feels about this?"

"You're siding with that _thing_?" Riku snapped, jerking back. "You'd rather listen to that monster than _me_?"

"Riku," came Mickey's voice, unusually stern. "Please, sit down for a moment. Take a deep breath—calm yourself. In fact…" The mouse looked the silver-haired young man up and down and decreed, "I think it would be best if you took a little rest. We can talk about what to do when you and Kairi return."

If anything, Mickey's words had only exacerbated things. "Don't you _trust_ me?" Riku snarled, his vision tinted so red that he failed to notice the triumphant smirk lighting Anti-Sora's face, as if he knew something everyone else didn't. "Is that it? You don't trust me to make wise decisions? You think that _monster_ that we created is smarter than I am?"

Leon exchanged a glance with Cid, who nodded. Without a word, the two walked forward and grasped Riku firmly by his arms, hoisting him up off the floor.

"You need rest," Leon said, and the struggling Riku was carted off to his bedroom. They threw him inside and promptly locked the door, leaving him in the dark with only the unconscious Kairi for company.

With that, Leon and Cid returned to the main room, shaking their heads. "What was wrong with him?" the former couldn't help but wonder aloud.

"That wasn't like Riku at all," piped up Mickey, his brow drawn and his arms crossed over his thin chest. "It makes me a little suspicious…" He turned to the still grinning Anti-Sora. "_You_ wouldn't have anything to do with it, now would you? I saw your little smirk when Riku was yelling."

"_Me_?" The malicious smile widened. "Why, of course not, dear King."

Goofy frowned deeply. "Gawrsh, Your Majesty," mumbled the dog, leaning forward and inspecting Anti-Sora closely. "I think he's lyin'."

"Yes, me too, Goofy," said Mickey softly, and fixed the shadow creature with a glare. "What did you do to Riku? Will he be all right?"

Anti-Sora shook his head. "He's _fine_," he said breezily. "I just used a little magic to heat things up a little… now that he's out of the room, I'm sure he's cooled off." He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, rolling his eyes in pure exasperation. "You guys need to re_lax_."

"I really hate him," whispered Yuffie in Aerith's ear. The brunette smiled and shook her head, patting her ninja friend on the head.

"Me, too," she whispered. "But we'll be rid of him soon." A worried expression crossed Aerith's face, her emerald eyes flitting from the shadow to a picture of Sora that hung on the wall. "At least… I hope so." She turned to her friends, worrying her lower lip. "What do you…?"

Leon sighed deeply, one hand landing on Aerith's shoulder comfortingly. "I think it will be fine," he said, "but we better wait until Riku calms down and Kairi wakes up to make any decisions."

Silence fell, broken only by Anti-Sora's occasional triumphant giggling, until finally Mickey tossed a nervous glance toward the room where the once anger-crazed Riku and the unconscious Kairi were. "I hope Riku is all right," the mouse said uncertainly.

* * *

At that moment, said young man was finally picking himself up from where he had fallen and slumping, defeated, against the door. His head had cleared, and now he let out a long sigh. "What happened out there?" he whispered to himself. "I got so angry… for such stupid reasons." 

A moan from the bed was his only reply, and Riku stumbled to his feet, walking over to where Kairi lay, tossing and turning. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, and put a hand to the redhead's forehead. At the sudden heat, he snatched his hand away. "You're burning up," the boy exclaimed, and turned back to the locked exit, wondering if hammering on it and calling out for someone's help would do any good. _Will they actually come, knowing how angry I was?_ Eventually, he looked down at Kairi once more, and, against his better judgment, sat down beside her.

Riku ran a gentle finger over her swollen cheek, black and blue from where the hilt of Anti-Sora's Keyblade had hit her. Even in her sleep, she winced, and he was quick to pull his hand away.

"Oh, Kairi," Riku sighed, angry with himself for getting so upset so quickly, and furious with the horrible shadow being in the cage. "What are we going to do? We have to kill Anti-Sora, but if it means destroying Sora completely…" The silver-haired boy slumped over, dejected. "I don't know _what_ to do—I hate feeling so damn _helpless_! It would just be better if Sora was—"

At the brunet's name, Kairi stirred slightly, mouth whispering over barely audible words. Frowning, Riku trailed off and leaned in close, brushing her hair out of her fever-flushed face and wondering what she was dreaming about.

Then, with a startled gasp, the young woman beneath him jolted awake. Her hazy eyes fluttered open and, before Riku could stutter an apology, her hand had found its way behind his head and she had tugged him down for a kiss.

His aquamarine eyes widened, the words he'd prepared dying in his throat instantaneously. Everything in him told him to pull away and pretend this never happened—despite the fact that he knew that option was all too impossible—but, before he knew what he was doing, he had deepened the kiss, his hand tangling in her long red hair.

Suddenly, she went very slack in his hold. His heart pounding in his ears, Riku didn't dare breathe as he pulled away and stared into a clouded violet gaze. "K-Kairi?" he murmured, ashamed of himself.

"Sora," she whispered back, and her eyes fluttered shut once more.


	10. there are many worlds

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix does.

* * *

_there are many worlds_  
· IX ·

* * *

"So," Merlin cleared his throat and fiddled with his spectacles, "how again are we getting rid of that monster?" 

Yuffie frowned at the paper before her before glancing up at the old wizard, her expression torn with worry. "Well," she said softly, "basically, magic brought him here and magic has to bring him back." She scanned the notes with narrowed eyes. "And so we—jeez, Cid, your handwriting is _awful_—have to…" She trailed off and looked up again, now apprehensive. "We have to conjure a portal of darkness and throw him in it."

"A portal of _darkness_?" Aerith repeated, skeptical and anxious. She ignored the shouts of the shadow being behind her—he was still trapped in the cage, and now, upon hearing about his imminent demise, had lost all confidence—and worried her lower lip. "But what if I mess it up again? What if I accidentally bring forth more creatures like—"

A strong arm wrapped around her shoulders. "Relax," Leon sighed, his expression stern. "Don't blame yourself for what happened before. It wasn't your fault." She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off, declaring, "Just focus on what's happening now. Namely, Anti-Sora's downfall."

Mickey opened his mouth to echo this statement, but a loud crash and the sound of something breaking cut him off. Everyone whirled toward the source of the sound—the back hallway, where Riku's room was.

Before anyone could start in that direction, the silver-haired young man burst into the dining room, clothes ruffled and hair mussed. He was rubbing his shoulder and wincing a bit, but had a determined smile on his face nonetheless.

"R-Riku!" Mickey exclaimed, eyes flickering from the back corridor to his friend. "What happened? Are you—?"

"It's okay," he said, as if he knew what had been coming. "I'm fine. I—I don't know what came over me before. I just got so angry, and—"

"We know what came over you before," interrupted Donald before Riku could go on. "It was," the duck jerked his head toward Anti-Sora, sulking quietly in his cage, "him. He put some sorta spell over you."

The young man graced the shadow with a brief glare before turning back to his friend and the matter at hand. "I—"

"Gawrsh," said Goofy, and Riku heaved a sigh and turned toward him, hiding his annoyance at being interrupted once more. The dog had the grace to blush before exclaiming, "What was that loud noise a moment ago?"

"Oh." Now it was Riku who was red in the face. "That was me. I had to get out of there, but the door was locked, so…" He shrugged nonchalantly. "I just banged against it until it came free. I guess the noise it made when it crashed against the wall was louder than I thought."

Aerith laughed gently. "It gave us quite a fright," she admitted. "Now, what was it you were so desperate to talk to us about?"

"It's Kairi," Riku told them somberly. "She's got a fever."

Yuffie jumped up. "Oh," the ninja said, distractedly pointing Cid in the direction of the Gummi Ship, where there was some medicine. "Well, I guess we won't be waiting until she wakes up to make the decision, huh?"

The silver-haired young man rolled his shoulders in a shrug once more. "Anti-Sora has to go," Riku whispered into his toes. "No matter what Kairi says."

Leon frowned. "I guess you're right," he said reluctantly, and shot the silent monster a look. "Tonight, then."

As Cid returned with a bucket full of different medicines in hand, Riku nodded. "Yeah," he agreed, and then turned to the blond man and Yuffie, hurriedly throwing the bottles of pills and cough mixtures every which way in their search for the correct concoction. "Hey, guys," Riku said with an exasperated smile, one that hid his sadness, "I've got some medicine that will work just fine, you know."

The ninja straightened and blew her short, dark hair out of her eyes with one frustrated puff. "Of _course_ we knew!"

* * *

Aerith glanced around nervously. She, along with everyone but a still sleeping Kairi—and the brunette knew this was cruel to do without her knowing—was up on the hill where Sora had been buried and then, months later, resurrected into a horrible monster. 

She was here to set things right.

"You can do this, Aerith." Yuffie's hand squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. "Just believe in yourself and you'll be _fine_!"

The young woman nodded resolutely and stepped forward, her stride matching that of Donald and Merlin, both of which were helping out this time around. With only a tiny pause, she summoned up a smile and turned to her two friends. "Are you ready?" Aerith asked with only the faintest tremor in her voice.

The old man beamed. "Of course I am," he prattled. "Just because I am getting on in age doesn't mean I've forgotten all my tricks!"

"Yeah!" quacked Donald in agreement. He waved his staff around encouragingly, huge eyes glaring at the caged Anti-Sora. "Let's do it, guys!"

Aerith forced her smile to return. "Yes," she said. "Calling forth a portal of darkness… it can't be that hard. Right?" When she didn't get an answer, the brunette turned away from the shadow monster with a frown and raised her hands.

Beside her, Donald lifted his staff high in the air and Merlin adjusted his glasses. As one, the trio began to murmur the enchantment. The result was near instantaneous—a small, black sphere of darkness swirled into existence and floated just above ground. As the spell continued, the blot got larger and larger, until it was big enough for someone of Leon's stature to step through without having to bend over.

As the spell drew to a close, Aerith allowed herself to breathe again. _I did it,_ she thought numbly, stepping toward the portal for confirmation. _I really did it… I didn't mess up this time._

Yuffie rushed up and clapped her on the back. "You did it!" she cheered, unknowingly echoing the thoughts of her emerald-eyed friend.

Aerith smiled widely, her joy and relief obvious as she clasped the young ninja's hands. "I did!" she whispered.

Leon stepped forward, eyes fixed on the cage Anti-Sora was trapped in. "All right, Riku," he said, motioning to the young man, who stood behind him. "Let's do this."

The silver-haired young boy snapped out of the daze he had sunk into with a mumbled, "Yeah." Far from Anti-Sora, Riku's mind was glued to the kiss that he and Kairi had shared. Instead of listening to Leon, he raised one slender hand to his lips—and then forced himself to remember that the kiss had been meant for _Sora_, not him.

_Wait_, Riku thought then, shaking his head to clear it. _Why am I still thinking about this? Kairi's my friend, and nothing more. She could never be more._

"Riku!" called Leon impatiently. He frowned deeply, observing the young man's dazed look. _What's he thinking about?_

Aerith sidled up to her brown-haired friend, eyes narrowed in contemplation. "Hey, Leon," she whispered, "do you think anything happened between Riku and Kairi while they were alone?"

"You mean—?" Leon looked bewildered; his facial expression reminded her that this wasn't exactly his area of expertise. "But she was asleep!"

Aerith still didn't seem sure. "Yeah, I know, but…"

Leon shook his head. "I'm sure everything's fine," he assured her, and turned his gaze on Anti-Sora, who was now trying to break out of his cage. "Monster," the brunet called, "you'll only succeed in injuring your hands if you do that."

The shadow glared, discreetly nursing burnt fingers behind his back. "Get away from me," he snarled as Leon approached.

The man shrugged and beckoned to Riku, still standing, lost in his thoughts, at the back. "Riku," he said again, "come _on_. The portal's ready; all we need to do is throw him in it."

The platinum-haired boy blinked a few times, shook his head once more, and stepped forward. "Yeah," he said dully, his mind still very much on Kairi. He stumbled over to the cage and, just as Aerith and Donald used their magic to dispel the barrier, Leon and Riku leapt for Anti-Sora.

To their shock and chagrin, their arms passed right through him. Laughing in triumph, the shadow darted away.

"You fools," he cackled, unknowingly backing up toward the portal of darkness. "Did you really think it would be so easy? Never underest—"

Riku and the others could only watch in stunned silence as Anti-Sora, who had treaded far too close to the dark, was very suddenly sucked inside. He barely had time to utter a yelp before he was gone, vanished into the midnight-coloured eddy.

Aerith took a step forward, hands clasped above her heart. "Did we… do it?" she asked. "Is he gone?"

Riku dared move toward the portal, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I'm not sure," he said softly, reaching out to the swirling vortex and ignoring the panicked cries of his friends behind him. Waving them away distractedly, he called back, "I'm fine. I just want to see if—"

All of a sudden, a hand as black as night tore through the portal, and the fingers fisted in Riku's shirt, long nails biting into his skin. The young man barely had time to blink—no less cry out—before he, too, was pulled inside. The terrified screams of the others fell on deaf ears.

* * *

Next thing Riku knew, he was tumbling head over heels in a darkness that he was all too familiar with. Suddenly feeling sick, he shut his eyes tight and his arms cinched around his stomach protectively. Images flashed before his closed lids and the young man groaned, shaking his head to keep out the memories of all the horrible things he'd done. They ignored his misery, and Riku weakly moved his hands to cover his ears—he could _hear_ them, the terrified screams of the people he'd killed, tricked, toyed with—and screamed, "_No_!" 

The blackness around him shattered with the sound of breaking glass. His eyes snapped open and he glanced up and around, allowing his body to relax a little as he landed on an invisible floor. On his guard, the boy flexed his fingers and felt the comforting hilt of the Way to the Dawn materialise in his grip.

But there was nothing around him.

Nothing but never-ending darkness—such a sight was painfully familiar to Riku, and he let out the ghost of a moan, too distracted to notice a pair of sun-gold eyes flicker open behind him.

He did, however, hear the soft, eerie sound of a giggle in the darkness, and whirled around with his Keyblade raised. There was nothing there, and Riku slowly let his hand fall to his side. Letting out a sigh, the young man turned back around—and barely managed to block a swipe of curling, filthy fingernails. Leaping back, he raised his weapon and snarled, "Anti-Sora, I know it's you."

Golden cat-like eyes appeared, and the dim ivory glint of a smile widened maliciously. He said nothing, but Riku heard a faint tinkling noise and could _sense_ that a Keyblade had fallen into the monster's fingers.

"You brought me here," growled the boy, taking an instinctive step back when he saw a flash of metal.

"Of course I did," said Anti-Sora conversationally, jumping forward and slashing his blade downwards with a loud battle cry.

Riku had to rely purely on his senses and luck to block the blow. Throwing his Keyblade up, the young man winced as he stumbled under the force of the strike, feeling his opponent's Key grinding against his. With a grunt, he threw off Anti-Sora's attack and ducked, swiping at the creature's legs.

The shadow merely leapt eloquently back, dodging and returning with a series of harsh slashes. Riku, still on the defensive, was barely able to block the strikes, no less attack with one of his own. "You were holding back in that first battle," he gasped, pushing hard against the Key and forcing Anti-Sora back. Before the fiend had a chance to recover, Riku summoned up darkness from deep inside and released his Dark Aura spell.

That had his opponent stumbling to his knees. "So were you," he returned simply, and dove forward once more.

Riku felt sick, tasting the darkness in his mouth. Still, he fought on, until an opening in Anti-Sora's defense had Riku swinging his Keyblade in a blind rage, exhaustion pushing his movements to a faster pace than normal. The shadow reeled; this time it was he struggling to block the attacks. The silver-haired young man yelled in triumph as he slashed downward with the Way to the Dawn, pinning his enemy against a wall that neither had known was there.

Anti-Sora's eyes narrowed—it was the only part of him Riku could see clearly. The monster opened his mouth for a clever retort, but suddenly the Way to the Dawn was at his throat and his mouth stumbled over even the simplest of words. Suddenly short of breath, Anti-Sora ran his tongue over his lips, trying to bring his voice back to no avail.

Riku stared down at him in triumph. "I've won," he whispered, and raised his weapon high.

_"Riku!"_

The boy froze, his aquamarine eyes going wide. Swallowing hard, he lifted his gaze from his opponent's face to the everlasting darkness above him, searching for a light. There was none, but that voice—it had been Kairi's.

Anti-Sora grinned widely; this was the very opening he had been searching for. Kicking Riku hard in the stomach, the shadow leapt off the wall and atop the young man, punching him hard in the face until blood ran in rivers, staining platinum hair. Weakly, Riku coughed and tried to throw the monster off. He struggled fruitlessly, no longer possessing the strength to lift his Keyblade.

_"Riku! Riku, please!"_

There it was again—Kairi's voice, from somewhere up high, where a pinpoint of light had appeared.

Licking the blood off his lips, Riku set his eyes on that light, took a deep breath, and raised his weapon high. Before Anti-Sora could blink, the hilt of the Way to the Dawn had struck him hard across the face. The creature spun away and into the air, and, as Kairi's desperate voice called for him from above, Riku slashed blindly in the darkness. He felt his Key connect, and was suddenly splattered with a dark, viscous substance.

The silver-haired young man wiped the darkness from his eyes and struggled to his feet, eyes searching for any sign of Anti-Sora.

When he finally glimpsed the monster, the boy's eyes went wide. He saw, in the light that was collecting high above, the shadow stumbling to his feet, a giant gash across his torso, bleeding the black blood that Riku was caked in.

"N-no," Anti-Sora stammered, staring at his hands, which seemed to be… fading. "I-I can't—he's not strong enough—this can't—_no_, please!"

Riku felt all the colour drain from his face as the darkness faded from his enemy, peeling off and revealing a head full of spiky brown hair and eyes like the sky. Sora—the real Sora, with that same sad smile and the wound that Riku himself had inflicted staining his chest, now dripping a dark, human red.

The platinum-haired boy felt himself falling to his knees. "S-Sora," he choked out, desperately rubbing the blood out of his eyes to catch a last glimpse.

The brunet just kept on smiling. "You'll take good care of her, right?" he said, pointing up to the source of the glow that was washing the darkness away. "Our light."

Riku did nothing but nod, aquamarine eyes going wide as Sora stumbled and then fell back, sad grin still in place, his blue eyes fluttering slowly shut. His best friend raced forward, arms outstretched to catch him, but by the time Riku got there, Sora was just glowing particles of golden light, flying up and away in a gentle breeze.

The silver-haired young man collapsed, desperately grabbing for someone who wasn't there anymore, crying helplessly despite _everything_. High above, a pink heart rose up to the light, and vanished with only one last whisper on the wind.

_"I'm sorry…"_

Riku staggered to his feet, furiously wiping the tears from his eyes. "What are you sorry for, Sora?" he screamed to the glow above him, his vision blurred. Weakly, the boy tottered forward, using the Way to the Dawn as a crutch for his shaking legs. Just as he was about to step into the light, Riku turned back to the realm of darkness and whispered, "It's me who should be apologising."

And with that, he stepped through and never looked back.

* * *

On the other side, Kairi was on her knees, wiping away her own tears. She had awoken to an empty house, and when she had found the others atop the hill that housed Sora's grave, Aerith and the others had explained everything. And though she had tried to enter the vortex after her friend, she had been stopped by Leon and Cid—and now was terrified that he would never return. 

_I'll be all alone,_ she thought, burying her face in her palms. _First Sora… and now Riku, too?_

She didn't expect the platinum-haired boy to suddenly burst forth from the portal, falling effortlessly into her arms. For a moment, Kairi was too shocked to say anything, violet eyes staring down at the crimson blood staining his hair and the black substance running down his face in rivulets, matching the tearstains following similar tracks.

"R-Riku!" she stammered, arms enfolding him in a tight embrace as she sobbed into his bruised shoulder. "Oh, Riku, you're back!"

"I… heard you," he whispered, his voice a dry hiss of pain. He shut his eyes and allowed himself to relax against her, his breathing laboured and his head feeling strangely light. "I heard you calling for me."

Kairi's eyes filled with tears once more. "Oh, Riku," she sobbed, stroking his bloody hair off of his forehead and rocking him back and forth in her arms. "I'm… I'm so glad you're back! I—Riku?"

The boy had gone completely still in her arms. His already shallow breathing had slowed to nothing but a rasping rattle at the back of his throat. Panicked, the young redhead began to shake him, calling for him desperately as fresh tears streaked down her face to land on his, cleaning away paths of dried blood and grime.

"Riku? Riku, answer me! _Riku_!"


	11. but they share the same sky—

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix does.

* * *

_but they share the same sky—_  
· X ·

* * *

Riku woke a few hours later—it felt like days—in the comfort of his own room, with the shades drawn and the chamber bathed in shadow. He sat up with a soft groan, but immediately regretted it as his head began to pound. One hand flew up to it and, to his horror, it came away sticky and dark with blood. The young man stumbled out of bed and toward a nearby mirror. Grabbing the frame, he glared into it and saw his cranium wrapped in stained bandages. 

"Damn," he mumbled, cradling his aching body and hating how everything seemed to sway, "how long have I been out?"

Just then, the door opened a crack and Yuffie poked her head in. Her face lit up—there was something _weird _in that grin—at the sight of him awake, and she vanished. Before he could do anything, he heard her scream into the hallway in an unusually piercing voice, "He's up, guys!"

Immediately, several sets of footsteps rocketed down the hallway. The door was thrown wide open and Riku, wincing in the harsh light, saw all but one of his friends gathered before him. Even the stony Leon was smiling for once, beaming so widely that it appeared strange on his narrow face. The only person missing, however, was the one that mattered the most, and the boy forced himself to take a shaky step forward.

"Where's Kairi?"

His voice seemed foreign, almost unrecognisable even to himself.

Aerith exchanged a frown with King Mickey, and ventured to say, "She's… she's having a rest. Poor thing, she's been worried sick about you all this time, and Anti-Sora's sudden banishment has, of course, unsettled her. I told her to lie down, and she readily agreed."

Was that malice in the young woman's voice? Riku frowned, eyeing his friends—he would have sworn there was something wrong. "Is she at her house?"

"Gawrsh, no," Goofy put in next. He pointed down the hall, at the spare bedroom that Riku never used. "She's in there."

Nodding, the platinum-haired young man pushed past his companions and started toward where she would be waiting. "Thank you," he said, voice barely above a whisper. He suddenly felt sick. "I'll go see her."

"Oh, Riku," Mickey said hastily. "Maybe you should go visit her later?"

He shrugged, aquamarine eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Why?" Riku asked, and disappeared inside without any hesitation. Immediately, his eyes fixed on a small, redheaded lump huddled under the covers of the small bed. "Kairi?" he said gently, sitting down on the edge of the mattress and reaching out to where he assumed she was. When there was no response, the young man felt a shiver run up his spine. "Are you all right?"

Still nothing. He couldn't even hear her breathe. Did she want to get rid of him that badly?

"Come on, Kairi," Riku exclaimed, a hint of exasperation slipping into his voice. "What's _wrong_?" A little annoyed—why wasn't she happy to see him awake, like the others?—he leaned forward and threw back the covers.

His eyes widened, the loving words he had prepared dying in his throat as his mouth dropped open in a long scream.

Kairi was curled up in a fetal position, her face turned toward him, jaw hanging loosely in what was once a shriek of terror. She was pale as a ghost and drenched with blood, one eye so blackened by the viscous substance that he couldn't see the pupil. The other was wide open, and instead of violet, it was a milky white-blue—a dead colour. There was a gaping wound staining her torso, the same wound that Riku had inflicted upon Anti-Sora.

The boy glanced up, backing away in horror. His vision swam, and, while his world was spinning, he spotted a black figure in the corner of the room, golden eyes sparkling and shadow-mouth twisted into a sadistic grin. He held a bloody Keyblade in his hands.

* * *

Riku's mouth opened in a terrified howl, and he shot forward, propelling himself into a sitting position so fast that he slumped over, his heart pounding and his mind racing. He couldn't breathe, the image of the battered and _dead _Kairi still clear in his mind. Slowly, his eyes fluttered closed, and he inhaled deeply, his injured head aching insistently. 

_A dream?_ he thought, one hand clutching his sweat-soaked shirt. _No way. That was too real to be a dream._

"Riku?"

The young man glanced up, his fingers now fisting in the bedcovers. "Y-yes?" he mumbled as the door slid open. As in his dream, Yuffie poked her head in. At the sight of him, she grinned widely. "Hey, guys," she called, turning toward the hall, "he's—"

Horrified, he backed up against the headboard, aquamarine eyes wide. "N-no," Riku whispered, shaking his head and burying his face in his palms. "_No…_"

An arm wrapped around his shoulders. He jumped and looked up to see Yuffie's concerned face. "You want to be alone?" she asked, surprisingly gentle as she missed the point completely. "I understand. I—"

But it was too late. Leon and the others raced up, throwing themselves through the doorframe and crowding around the bed.

Riku blinked up at them. "You're not smiling," he told Leon.

"Does he ever?" joked Yuffie, backing up a little and ignoring her friend's glare.

Just then, Riku noticed something. His heart skipped a beat and iced over, and he tasted fear and dread in his dry mouth. "Where's Kairi?" he whispered, and then shivered—those were the same words as in his dream.

"She went out to get some food for us," Aerith supplied with a smile. A weight was immediately lifted off the Keybearer's chest.

"O-oh?" he stammered, stumbling to his feet shakily. Again, his hand was drawn to his head, and it still came away dark with blood—blood the same colour as what had been coating Kairi almost like a layer of skin. "_No_!" Riku suddenly shouted, cradling his head in his arms as he tried to banish the thought. Shocked, his friends took a step back, wondering what on earth could be the matter.

"Riku?" asked Mickey carefully, one little hand stretching out to touch the tall boy on the arm. "You all right?"

"I—I'm fine," he stammered, and shambled toward the door, slipping past his companions and out into the hall. From there, he made his way out of his house and onto the beach. He was heading toward the docks—he had to see Kairi, he just _had_ to see if she was all right—when a wave of nausea swept over him and he fell to his knees.

Suddenly lightheaded, Riku retched emptily onto the grit. He heard rapid footsteps approaching—obviously, Leon, Aerith, Yuffie, and the rest had followed him outside—and a cry:

"_Riku_!"

His head snapped up, and he wiped his mouth off dazedly. His bleary eyes focused on a person deftly disembarking from a small boat and rushing toward him, red hair swaying in a gentle breeze and violet eyes glowing with worry.

Riku stretched a hand out toward her as he fell facedown in the sand, his vision darkening to black, his lips curling in a relieved smile. _Kairi… you're all right.  
_

* * *

The first thing he heard when he awoke was Kairi's chiding voice, exclaiming, "Jeez, Riku, you've collapsed on me twice in the past twelve hours! Do you have any idea how much you _scared_ me?" 

The boy let out an unintelligible mumble and rolled over, now realising that his head was in someone's lap. His eyes flickered open to see a redheaded girl's frowning face, and he couldn't help the relieved grin that spread across his exhausted features. "Kairi," he whispered, one hand rising to caress her cheek. "You're all right. I'm so—"

Her brow furrowed. "I'm all right," she echoed. "My fever went down ages ago!"

He almost chuckled. "No, that's not what I meant," he muttered under his breath, one hand coming up to mask emotional aqua eyes.

"What did you say?" Kairi asked. When Riku laughed at her outright for that, she cried out indignantly and stood up without warning, sending him tumbling back into the sand. It was only then that he discovered that they were still on the beach, with Leon and the rest surrounding them, chewing on what appeared to be fresh watermelon.

"Ouch, ouch, sorry," the young man exclaimed, forcing himself to his knees and shaking off a sticky layer of the particles, turned golden in the light of the setting sun. He regretted it when his head began to pound.

"Oh, Riku," Kairi gasped, reaching for him. "Watch it! You're gonna be nursing that ache for a while."

He shrugged and stood up, shielding his eyes from the light as he looked around him. The girl sat at his feet, and behind her were the rest of his friends, laughing and enjoying themselves in the warmth. Riku felt a shudder run through his body at the sight. He couldn't understand how they could be laughing so easily when Anti-Sora died not a day ago, taking all hope of Sora's return with him.

"I'm going home," he muttered into his feet, his hands balling into furious fists and aquamarine eyes flashing. _Am I the only one still upset by this?_

With that, Riku stormed off, leaving Kairi and the others stunned. After a minute of silence, the young woman stood up and declared, "I'm going after him." When Yuffie went to join her, she shook her head and said softly, "I need to see him alone."

Obediently, the ninja sank back into the sand, watching as her friend raced off after the quickly vanishing boy.

Kairi caught up with Riku just as he dashed through his front door and into the hall. "Hey!" she called pointedly, but he didn't listen, disappearing into the living room without a word. With an exasperated sigh, she raced after him and found him sitting on the couch with his head in his arms. When she hesitantly approached, he glanced up and she saw that his eyes were wet.

"I don't get you, Kairi," he said angrily, his voice rising dangerously. "I don't get how you can just sit there and laugh, knowing that you'll never, _ever_ see Sora again! What's the _matter_ with you?"

Kairi bit her lip and fought back her own tears, Riku's words cutting her more deeply than any wound. "You don't understand," she said uselessly.

"I think I do," he said coldly, and turned away from her. "You just don't care anymore, do you?"

Kairi's hands curled into fists so tight that she felt the sting of her nails biting into her palms. "Are you stupid?" she shouted, storming over and whirling him back around. Surprised, he met her furious violet eyes and barely managed not to flinch. "Of _course_ I care! Stop acting as if _you're_ the only one who has ever wanted him back! Do you have any idea how upset I was—not to mention how you _left_ me all alone! I—"

"Then what you said before," Riku said, voice flat. "It was a lie?"

Kairi's anger dimmed a little. "What I… said before?" she repeated, and then a conversation from the previous month flooded her head.

_Tell me, Sora, who does she have to comfort her now that you're gone? Certainly not me, who left on a journey of his own the day you fucking _died_. She probably hates me for it, and she has every right—_

_I never knew you felt that way… I don't hate you, Riku—how could you ever think that? You came back, just like you promised… that's what matters._

Kairi winced. "It wasn't a lie," she mumbled, falling to her knees. _I've really backed myself into a corner,_ she thought dully. "I just wish you'd…"

"I'd _what_?"

The girl glared at the ground, her vision blurring with angry tears. "I wish you'd stop being so _selfish_!" she yelled. When Riku's only response was to stare at her, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open a little in shock, she turned and stormed from the room, running as fast as she could toward the open door.

She wasn't expecting his hand to catch hers before she even made it out.

When Kairi turned back around, she wilted at the sight of the pain hidden in her friend's aquamarine eyes. Her anger faded. She stepped toward him, long arms wrapping around his waist. He echoed the embrace, pulling her close and burying his face in her sweet-smelling hair.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, voice shaking with regret. "I'm so sorry."

She sighed. "It's okay," she returned softly, one hand rising to caress his long silver locks, pushing them back off his forehead. When her fingers came away bloody, she pulled back and tugged him toward the bathroom. "Look, we'd better change those bandages."

He was silent the entire way. He didn't even say a word when she sat him down on a stool in front of the mirror, and only hissed in pain when she peeled the gauze away from his wound and applied a fresh strip.

Eventually, the quiet got to be too much for Kairi, and she would have hit him upside the head if not for his wound. "Riku," she said softly, when she was done giving him medicine. "Stop beating yourself up. It—just forget it, okay? I don't want you to be upset anymore."

He shrugged slightly, and she tapped him on the nose with a bottle of cream. "Hey, I mean it," she said, leaning in and mock-glaring at him. "Stop sulking!"

"I'm not sulking," he muttered, and lifted his gaze from his toes to her eyes. She smiled at him, gently, and something in her violet orbs made Riku recall a certain night—when, in her delirium, she had kissed him.

He turned bright red and skittered backwards, his heart suddenly racing as it leapt into his throat. Covering his mouth with his hand, he turned away from her and squeezed his eyes shut. "Shit, _shit_," he mumbled, remembering so clearly the feel of her soft lips on his. _Idiot, that kiss was meant for Sora,_ he thought, and then groaned aloud. _As if it matters to me, anyway!_

"Um, Kairi?" But he had to know. "From when you had your fever… do you…"

She shrugged before he could even finish his question. "That whole time is a blur," she admitted. "I don't remember anything clearly."

"Oh," the boy bit out, and ran from the room as fast as his aching head allowed. Once he was a safe distance away, he collapsed against a nearby wall and slunk to the floor, his head drooping to his chest. "…Shit."


	12. one sky

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix does.

* * *

_one sky_  
· XI ·

* * *

"You're really leaving?" 

Aerith smiled kindly and enveloped Kairi in a tight hug. "I'm afraid so," she said softly.

"But we'll come back soon!" Yuffie promised, worming in between the brunette and the redhead to choke Kairi in her own embrace. "Don't you worry about that! We'll be back _and_ we'll eat more watermelon _and_ you can introduce us to your friends _and_—"

"Yuffie," cut in Leon, the tiniest hint of impatience in his voice. "We need to go."

The ninja whirled on him and stuck her tongue out. "Whatever, _Squall_!"

"Be quiet," he snapped, unusually agitated. "It's _Leon_, Yuffie! How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Aerith sighed fondly and began to push her friends toward the Gummi Ship. Cid, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy had already boarded. She offered the silent Riku and Kairi one last smile, mouthed, 'Sorry,' and, with a wave, vanished into the vessel even as Yuffie was screaming, "Squall! Squaaall! Sounds like _squirrel_!"

With that, the ship rose into the air, revved its engines, and then shot off, streaking into the afternoon sky.

Mere seconds later it had vanished from sight, leaving the stunned denizens of Destiny Islands gasping in wonder in its wake. Standing alone on the beach, Kairi and Riku stayed in comfortable silence, gazing up at the sunset, until the young woman mumbled, "I'm really hungry. Want to get some food?"

The boy seemed surprised. "Okay," he agreed, and they headed to the main island and into their favourite restaurant. It was nearly empty, and they slid into an unoccupied booth to wait for a waiter to approach. No one came for what seemed like an eternity, and every silent second dragged by so damn _slow_—over and over, the kiss was running through Riku's aching head.

"Sora…" 

He winced visibly at the memory. She had sounded so… so…

"Riku?" Kairi's voice startled him out of his reverie. He glanced up dumbly, and she smiled at him. "Is your head hurting? I have some aspirin on me if you want it. We'll need to get some water for it, though, because my mum's always said that it's unhealthy to—"

"No, I'm fine," the boy muttered, waving her away. "It's not my head."

She frowned and was on the verge of pressing the subject when a waiter waltzed over. "Hello!" exclaimed the newcomer, his voice way too familiar. Kairi and Riku broke eye contact and glanced up. Their mouths dropped open in surprise.

"Wakka?"

"It's me," grinned the tan-skinned teen. "I started working here a couple of weeks ago. And you two—you here on a date, ya? Never thought I'd see the day! None of the islanders did, eh? We always thought—"

"N-no," Kairi said hastily, her face as red as her hair and matching Riku's exactly. "It's not a date. It's just—"

"Whatever you say," said Wakka dismissively, holding up a notepad and retrieving a pen from his shock of orange hair. "So, what do you want? Our special today is the Paopu Pie—you get a necklace of Thalassa shells if you get it! Great deal, eh? I know Riku and Kairi love Thalassa shells."

Kairi laughed gently and exchanged a glance with her platinum-haired friend. "You want one?" she asked with a grin. He shrugged indifferently, so she turned back to Wakka and said, "One Paopu Pie, please."

He beamed. "Coming right up!"

With that, the carrot-haired boy dashed back to the kitchens and left Kairi and Riku alone once more. The girl contented herself with gazing out the nearby window, daydreaming with a soft smile on her face. Riku found himself inexplicably caught up in that beautiful, faraway look and couldn't help but wonder if she was thinking about Sora, smiling about Sora.

"Hey, Kairi?" he said hesitantly, hating to interrupt her dream. If she was disappointed, she didn't show it, and merely turned back to Riku with a kind, questioning expression on her face. "Do you… um…"

She sighed deeply. "Riku, are you still upset about yesterday? I am sorry for yelling at you, but… well, you should just let it go."

The young man shook his head. "I have," he said. "I'm not thinking about that anymore."

"Then—what is it?"

He had to know. He _just_ had to. "Have you had any, um, interesting dreams lately?" Riku blurted out, and then flushed deeply, hearing exactly how stupid that sounded aloud. It hadn't sounded so bad in his head.

Kairi shrugged. "Well, when I had my fever," his heart skipped a beat, "I… I had a dream about Sora." The girl's voice shook a little, and she hugged herself, staring down at the table rather than at her friend's face. "I dreamt about the night before his death… did I ever tell you what happened?"

Riku shook his head, his mouth dry.

Kairi cleared her throat and a pink tint appeared on her high cheekbones. A smile flickered across her face, both lovesick and nostalgic. "Well, we…"

"It's okay," he said suddenly, before she could go on. He wanted to wipe that smile right off her face. "You don't have to tell me. It's your business. I don't need to know." _Don't tell me,_ Riku thought, a wave of hurt washing over his heart for a reason that he didn't want to understand. _Please, don't tell me._

She seemed surprised. "You don't want to know?" she said, and, for a moment, he was afraid she was catching on.

"It's not that I don't want to know," he said hastily, waving one hand glibly and shaking his head. "I just… um, I don't _need_ to know, and I'm sure it's something you'd rather keep to yourself. Right?"

Kairi smiled, reaching across the table to clutch Riku's hand. "Thanks," she whispered. "You're a really great friend, you know that?"

He entwined her fingers in his and forced a smile. "Yeah," the silver-haired young man said, feigning confidence. _But it's not for your sake, Kairi. It's for mine._

Just then, Wakka waltzed over, holding a platter of Paopu Pie high in the air. "Here it is! Freshly baked!" After placing it on the table beside his two friends' laced hands—the orange-haired boy observed that detail with a smile—he declared, "Not a date, eh?" and slung a rope of Thalassa shells around Kairi's neck. "One," he grinned and pulled another necklace from the apron he was wearing, "and two! I snuck this from the kitchen. Riku, you like it, ya?"

Before the platinum-haired boy could protest, he too was wearing a string of the shells.

"I'll leave you to your romantic rendezvous," sang Wakka then, and ran off as fast as his feet could carry him.

Riku glared at his retreating back. "What an idiot," he grumbled, and went to remove the necklace when Kairi's hand caught his own, and he paused, glancing up in surprise. Her expression was caught between sorrow and something Riku almost didn't want to identify. "…Kairi?"

"Huh?" The girl jolted back to reality and withdrew her hand quickly, her face darkening to red. "Sorry… um, you can take them off if you want."

Riku shrugged. "I'll leave them," he said, and a beautiful smile blossomed on his friend's face.

* * *

After the meal, the two teenagers decided to go for a walk on the littlest island's beach. With the sand between the toes and their faces tipped toward the rapidly darkening night sky, they were content to carry on in silence—at least until Kairi decided she wanted to go see Sora. 

_Sora's not there anymore,_ Riku found himself thinking when she suggested it. _He's not anywhere anymore._ There wasn't a thing he wanted to do less at the moment, but how could he deny her? "Okay," he sighed, inwardly defeated. Smiling, she took his hand and led him up the hill, their passage lit by the glow of the stars and the full moon, shining brightly overhead.

Once they reached the top, Kairi took in a deep, shuddering breath when she spotted the lone gravestone and whispered, "We're here."

Riku nodded dumbly, following obediently as his friend led the way over and knelt before the carved marble. He chose to stand, crossing his arms across his chest and glaring down as if it was _Sora's_ fault that—

_I'm sorry,_ Riku thought, wanting to reach out and run his hand over the stone's surface, but holding back so he wouldn't disturb Kairi. _I'm so sorry, Sora._ He'd banished the very thought, he'd denied it until now, but the horrible truth of it was…

_I think I'm in love with Kairi._

Now, Riku did drop to his knees in the dirt, his pained aquamarine eyes betraying his apology. His redheaded friend glanced up in surprise, her face scrunched in confusion, but said nothing.

_Some best friend, huh?_ the silver-haired boy thought to himself, overcome with resentment and absolutely furious with himself. Sighing, he leaned forward, resting his forehead against the cool gravestone and burying angry fists in the dirt, ripping through the soil easily. It was as if he meant to tear up the ground until he reached Sora's empty casket. Kairi's tentative "Riku?" went unnoticed.

"I'm so damn _sorry_, Sora," the boy muttered, more to himself than to anyone who might be listening—alive or no.

But Kairi happened to overhear, and she immediately wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Hey," she whispered, oblivious of the inner turmoil she was causing him, "what's wrong, Riku?"

"Get off me," he snarled, unnecessarily harsh. He pushed her roughly, knocking her back into the dirt, and shot to his feet. Stunned, she stared up at him, violet eyes wide in confused hurt, but Riku just turned and fled before she could see the regret in his drawn face.

* * *

The platinum-haired young man dashed down the shore, his sneakers slapping against the wet sand with a sound that seemed to reverberate all around the islands. His heartbeat drowned out all other nose; he didn't hear Kairi calling out for him. His aquamarine gaze was focused on the entrance to the _secret place_, now only a few metres away. He tore past Tidus and Selphie, playfully dueling nearby, and ignored their questions. 

He threw himself inside the small opening, crouching down in the dirt to crawl along the small passageway until the ceiling was high enough for him to stand. From there he stumbled forward, eyes darting from corner to corner, from the pictures scrawled on the wall to the door set into the stone.

Riku turned away from the Keyhole and towards one particular scribble. _I need to end this,_ he thought and dazedly fell to his knees, shuffling forwards until he stood before the rounded rock. There it was—a badly drawn Sora and Kairi, with two Paopu fruits being offered between them. That should have decided it, then and there: Sora had loved Kairi and Kairi must still love Sora. That was that.

But it hurt.

It hurt a _lot_, Riku discovered. His heart was aching as much as his head—that running hadn't done him any good—and he clutched at it, shutting his eyes and collapsing against the wall. Part of him longed to run his hand across the doodle until it was blurred into nothing.

Without thinking, he reached for a small, sharp stone that lay forgotten on the ground. Lifting it to be level with the picture of Sora and Kairi, he went to slash at it mercilessly, grinding it into dust, when a voice interjected, "Riku?"

_Damn_, the boy thought, finally coming to his senses. He let his hand drop, the rock falling forgotten in the dirt.

Kairi crept inside, closely followed by a confused Selphie. Riku determinedly kept his back turned to them, sitting back and pulling his knees up to his chest protectively. "Hey, Selph," he heard the redhead say. "It's okay. You can go. I'll talk to him."

"But, Kairi," Selphie whined, and at that moment the silver-haired young man wanted to punch her. He wanted to be left _alone_—why else would he have fled like a frightened child? "Are you sure I shouldn't stay? I mean, I'm not sure if you can handle him on your _own_… I'm worried about you!" Her attention turned to the other in the room. "And you, too, Riku! You've been acting awfully strange!"

"Selphie," there was a note of warning in Kairi's voice, "go."

The brunette pouted. "Fine!" she snorted, turning to leave. "But don't say I didn't warn you!"

When Selphie's footsteps had faded away, Riku heard Kairi approach. He stiffened when she sat down beside him, leaning against his back to placate him a little. He had no idea that this was echoing what Sora had done so many months before.

"Hey, Riku?"

He grunted in response, burying his head in his knees.

"Did I upset you earlier?" When there was no response, she let out a soft sigh. "What did I do? I was only trying to help."

_That's the problem, Kairi,_ he thought. _You can't help. Not anymore._

Finally, his silence got to be too much for her. She turned and spun him around to face her, brow drawn and mouth tightened into an angry line. "Riku!" she cried, on the verge of yelling. Her voice resounded all around the stone room, each echo cutting the boy deeply with its fury. "Stop it—stop _sulking_! You won't even tell me what's _wrong_ anymore!"

He glared back at her, matching her enraged violet gaze with wounded and irritated aquamarine. "It's _you_!" he shouted finally, stumbling to his feet and doing his best to back away from her.

Her anger vanished, quickly replaced with confusion. "Wh… what?"

"Damn it," Riku seethed, eyes flickering from Kairi to the exit, wondering if he could make a run for it.

Unfortunately, the redheaded young woman saw his plan. She jumped up and dashed for the narrow passage, blocking his escape with her body and exclaiming vehemently, "You're not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on!"

_Kairi, are you that stupid?_ "It's you," Riku repeated wearily, his anger fading into exhaustion. "_You_'re what's wrong with me." When her expression told him that she didn't understand, he reluctantly walked over and cupped her face, one thumb running tenderly over her cheek. She froze in shock, and barely breathed as he leaned in and pressed a feather-light kiss to her lips.

He pulled away before she could blink, and slipped past the stunned girl. She didn't stop him.


	13. one destiny

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix does.

* * *

_one destiny_  
· XII ·

* * *

Long after Riku's departure, Kairi still sat in the secret place, on her knees in the dirt. She was staring blankly ahead, one pale hand drifting about her lips. She wasn't stupid. She knew what Riku had meant by his kiss. 

Worse still, she now remembered how that hadn't been their first.

The girl now recalled, with painful clarity, the evening of her fever; how she had believed Riku to be Sora and kissed him because of it.

_What have I done? _Kairi thought, slumping forward and hiding her face in her hands. _Not only have I pushed him away, but… I hurt him so much… _She hated to even think of the feelings she must have hurt when she called him by the wrong name. _I don't know what I would have done in his position,_ she admitted to herself, letting out a soft sigh and shooting to her feet.

By the time she exited the small cave, the moon was high in the sky, and Selphie and Tidus had long abandoned their game and gone home. She walked alone in the direction of the one-grave cemetery, her arms wrapped around herself protectively as she thought back on the last few days.

_It all makes sense now,_ she realised numbly._ Why didn't I figure it out before?_

The sidelong glances, the wistful yearning constantly seen on her friend's face… the very way he _worded_ things had, unintentionally, hinted of his feelings.

"What do I do?" Kairi mumbled, so quietly that anyone eavesdropping would not have heard. Her heart felt as if it was breaking all over again as a memory ran through her head: the last time she had seen Sora, when he had comforted her on the docks. When they had confessed their love for each other—when they had kissed.

_Riku didn't want to hear about it,_ she thought. _Now I know why._

She mounted the top of the hill, finally, and was making her way toward Sora's grave when she saw that somebody already occupied the spot. She didn't have to squint in the dim light to know that it was Riku.

Kairi could hear his words from where she stood. Over and over, he was apologising—something he rarely did without a very, very good reason.

"Riku?" she ventured, stepping toward her friend. He started, cutting himself off mid-word, and whirled toward the intruder. To her surprise, he didn't try to run away when she approached and, relieved, she sat next to him, facing the gravestone. He didn't stop her, and merely returned to his thoughts, this time only voicing his requests for forgiveness inside his head.

"You were apologising," said Kairi suddenly, as if reading his mind. Riku blanched, but then nodded. "But… it's stupid to say sorry for falling in love."

Hearing it out in the open was shocking, for both of them. The young woman couldn't believe she'd said it so calmly. Riku echoed her sentiment, but the word _love_ had stirred something inside him, and he fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Well," he said eventually, "you… you were…" The boy shook his head and cleared his throat, eyes picking out each separate particle of dirt at his feet rather than meeting Kairi's violet gaze. "Sora was my best friend. And you—you were his… _girlfriend_. He'd always loved you."

Kairi froze at the words, and took a deep breath as they registered, allowing a sad smile to flit across her face. "And that's taboo, right?" she sighed once she had recovered, and crossed her arms over her chest. "Falling in love with a friend's girl is a definite 'no-no', right, Riku?"

He flinched, and nodded reluctantly. It seemed so stupid once it was said aloud.

She grinned at him wryly. "Do you see how dumb that sounds now?" she teased, poking his shoulder playfully.

The young man smiled back, hoping, maybe, that things could go back to normal. "Yeah, yeah." Riku stood up then, and faked a yawn, fanning one tanned hand over his mouth and pinching his aquamarine eyes shut. "Look," he exclaimed hastily, turning to go, "I'm pretty tired—I think I'm going to go to bed. I'll… uh, I'll see you in the morning, Kairi."

The girl nearly sighed, but did nothing to stop him as he ran as fast as he could off the hill. _Tomorrow,_ she thought, sighing heavily. _Tomorrow we'll sort this out. Maybe by tomorrow even _I_ will have figured out my feelings.  
_

* * *

All throughout that night, as Riku lay in his bed, he was plagued with visions—visions of a smirking Anti-Sora standing over Kairi's dead body, of Sora's gentle smile as he fall backwards and then vanished forever, of the shock in Kairi's face when he had kissed her. 

He tried to imagine how Sora would have reacted had he been there. It was painfully easy to picture the surprised hurt in the brunet's sky-coloured eyes as his hands balled into fists at his sides. It was so effortless to visualize how he would have pretended to be happy while being broken up inside—

The silver-haired boy decided he didn't want to think about it anymore. After all, Sora was dead, once by sickness, and the second time by Riku's hand.

But he didn't want to think about that, either.

Instead, Riku turned his mind to happier times, when they hadn't been preoccupied with romance and love triangles and, least of all, death. Back before the idea of exploring other worlds had even appeared in his mind—when the days were short and simple, consisting only of two things: school and playing at the beach with Selphie, Wakka, and Tidus.

Life had been so _fun_ back then. The Keyblade hadn't existed to the islanders. They hadn't known about Heartless, or Nobodies, or the Heart of all Worlds. Kingdom Hearts was just two very different words strung together, like _performing monkey_, or _art project_.

But then Riku decided to leave; he just _had_ to get out and see the worlds for himself. And light wasn't good enough for him—he seized darkness as soon as it appeared, and abandoned his duty as rightful Keybearer, leaving the crushing weight of that responsibility on Sora's slight shoulders.

And it had killed him.

"No, damn it," Riku mumbled, pressing his face into the pillow and shutting out his dark thoughts. "It's not my fault…"

But he knew damn well that it was.

Sighing in defeat, the young man rolled over. He stared up at his ceiling with its glow-in-the-dark constellations—the ones Kairi had bought for him several years before—and allowed his feet to hang over the edge of the short mattress as his mind drifted back to the girl.

_I shouldn't have kissed her,_ he thought dully, his brow furrowing in misery as he thought about what the next day would bring. "I almost wish I could leave," he whispered to himself, turning over again and staring fixedly at the white wall. _Maybe Kairi would follow me. She'd definitely have followed Sora._

_But I'm not Sora, _Riku reminded himself, chuckling halfheartedly. _I'm tainted and I've never been able to live life by following my heart. Kairi never—_

The boy frowned deeply, squeezing his eyes shut in a pathetic imitation of sleep. _It doesn't matter. I'll deal with it tomorrow.  
_

* * *

The sun rose quicker than neither Riku nor Kairi would have liked. Before they knew it, light was streaming in through the blinds and the chirping of the birds outside their windows was forcing them awake. 

The silver-haired young man was quicker to get up; he dragged himself out of bed and to his front door, still dressed in his pajamas, to answer the bell, which had been ringing insistently for the past minute. Throwing it open, Riku glared at the newcomer.

"Hey, Riku!" exclaimed Tidus, hefting a wooden sword over his shoulder and a blitzball in his free hand. In the time that Riku had been away, the boy had grown tall, his dirty-blond hair swinging into bright blue eyes. He had never abandoned the weird fashion statement of wearing one of his shorts much shorter than the other, and was now renowned for it all across the islands. "Want to play some blitzball with Wakka and I?"

His friend let out a weary sigh, though he was grateful for the distraction. "Okay. At least let me get dressed."

Predictably, when he retreated back into his room, Tidus followed, chirping on and on about this and that, and how much it was going to suck when school started again. It was only when Riku whirled back around and grated, "Tidus. I have to change. That means taking off my clothes," that he got the point and ran for his life.

When the platinum-haired teen returned, he and Tidus began to walk down to the beach, where Wakka was a tiny orange-haired speck by the shore. The blond was quick to start babbling again.

"So, when I grow up, I was thinking that I'd become a famous blitzball player—me and Wakka both, you know—and you and Kairi and Selphie could come watch our games." He grinned widely. "It'd be great. I'd play for a really cool team, and… well, first, I think I'd have to move to another place. You know? Somewhere big, famous… and it'd be cool! Maybe they'd even name a town after me. Like… Tidusland. Or… Z… something starting with a z! Like… Zan… Zanka… Zanar…"

"Tidus," Riku sighed tiredly. "That's cool. We're here."

"Oh." The boy looked down from where he'd been staring dreamily at the sky to see that Wakka stood before them, a wide grin on his tanned face. He smiled back. "Let's practise!" he cheered. "We'll be famous one day!"

Just then, Riku happened to glance up and see Kairi alighting from a boat at the docks, a chattering Selphie by her side. His face went white. "Let's play," he urged his two friends.

But it was too late. The redheaded girl had spotted him, and had abandoned Selphie to rush over as fast as her feet would take her. Her mind was racing, the previous evening rushing through her head.

_Kairi sat on by the seashore, alone, with her knees scrunched up to her chest. Both her mother and father were back home and long asleep, as it was past one in the morning. When she had found that dreams would not come to her, she had snuck out of the house and ran to the shore. Now she just sat there, staring up at the lonely moon surrounded by glittering stars—no, worlds._

_"Sora," Kairi mumbled, and couldn't help but wonder if the boy was listening. "Even though you're gone… it still feels like you're here. You cared for me so much… and that's how much Riku cares for me now." She smiled wetly up at the sky. "I know you told him to take care of me, and… I think we might give it a try. After all, Sora, you'll be okay with this… as long as we're happy, right?"_

_She settled back in the sand, a soft, sad smile blossoming on her face. "I just wanted you to know."_

"Hey, Riku," she called, slowing to a walk for the last few steps, until she was near enough to tug at the boy's sleeve. "I… need to talk to you."

He swallowed hard, and put down the ball. "Okay," he whispered, and allowed her to lead him away, into the seaside shack. Riku stood back against the wall, letting out a soft sigh and staring at the ground rather than at his friend's face.

She would have none of that. Kairi stepped up to him and tipped his chin up again so that he could meet her eyes. The emotion he found in them was scarier than almost anything the boy had ever faced, but he couldn't look away. She smiled gently, and leaned forward in a brief hug. "I was thinking, Riku," she said softly.

"You don't have to say anything," he said hastily. "I understand—"

He was immediately silenced when she put a finger to his lips. "Just listen," she murmured, and he nodded mutely. "I was," she giggled a little, nervously, "talking to Sora last night. And don't make fun of me, because you do it too!"

He wouldn't have, anyway.

"And… I think I know what to do." Now it was she who broke their eye contact, stepping back and staring at the floor. "Sora always said that he was happy when I was happy, and he agreed with whatever decisions I made, no matter how they affected him… or even if they secretly made him sad."

"That's Sora for you," Riku said wryly, in a sorry attempt to quell the awkwardness in the air.

Kairi let out a half-smile. "Yeah," she whispered, her voice shaking a little, violet eyes glittering wetly. When she finally looked up, however, her expression was sure and kind. "I've made my decision."

He took in a deep, shuddering breath, preparing himself for heartbreak. Bravely, he kept her gaze in his aquamarine one, and forced a smile.

"Riku, you're such a wonderful person," she continued, but that, to him, only seemed to make his rejection all the more final, "and I've decided that we should give_ us _a chance."

He blinked. "Wh… you're… really?"

She smiled beautifully. "It is your job to take care of me, right?"

After a moment of disbelief, Riku let out a grin choked with relief. "Yeah," he agreed, trying not to let it slip into his voice. Tentatively, he reached out and tugged her into a close embrace. "Thank you," he whispered into her hair when she didn't pull away. "And I promise, Kairi—"

"Don't promise anything," she said, interrupting him. "It'll just jinx it."

"You can't jinx under a roof."

"I don't care!" she said emphatically, and wrapped her small arms around his waist, returning the heartfelt hug. "We'll just deal with everything in time, right, Riku? Like that old expression—we'll cross those bridges when we come to them. But for now…"

The door to the seaside shack blew open in a slight breeze, and they heard, down on the beach, Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka beckoning them over with expectant shouts. Breaking apart, they smiled at each other and turned to leave.

"…let's just be happy, together."

And Kairi and Riku entwined their hands and stepped into the sunlight.

* * *

_fin._

* * *

**Author's Notes:** That's right, it's over! Sad, huh? Well, I hope you guys liked the ending. To the readers and reviewers who have stuck by me these past four months, it's been lots of fun! See ya next time.  
- Crimson Kaoru 


End file.
